Friday, 31 August 2007

Illegal lyrics.. sung by Shakira...

You said you would love me until you die..
And as far as I know you're still alive..

-I like this particular phrase from the song. Does anyone wonder why? If you do, don't ask. I just like it-

Who would have thought that you could hurt me
the way you've done it?
So deliberate, so determined

Since you have been gone
I bite my nails for days and hours
and question my own questions on and on
So tell me now, tell me now

Why you're so far away
When I'm still so close
You don't even know the meaning of the words I'm sorry
You said you would love me until you die
And as far as I know you're still alive

You don't even know the meaning of the words I'm sorry
I'm starting to believe
it should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart

I tried so hard to be attentive
To all you wanted, always supportive, always patient
What did I do wrong?
I'm wondering for days and hours
is it here, it isn't here, where you belong

Anyhow, anyhow
I wish you both all the best
I hope you get along

You don't even know the meaning of the words I'm sorry
You said you would love me until you die
And as far as I know you're still alive

You don't even know the meaning of the words I'm sorry
I'm starting to believeit should be illegal to deceive the woman's heart
You don't even know the meaning of the words I'm sorry
You said you would love me until you die
As far as I know you're still alive

You don't even know the meaning of the words I'm sorry
I'm starting to believe it should be illegal to deceive the woman's heart

Open heart, open heart, it should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart,
Open heart, open heart, it should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart.

These lyrics are absolutely PERFECT, don't you think?


I went to Carmen's house last night.. Can you believe it, Terence fetched me there?? I mean, my mum allowed it. Weird, right? haha.. I'm not complaining ! Michael was in the car already, then went to fetch Jia Ming from Bangsar Station.. He was waiting for us there alone. Michael called him a gay bastard because he was leaning with his back and one foot on the wall, and he had his ear phones plugged in. XD So anyway, we reached Carmen's house at, like, 11 something.. cuz, you know, watch fireworks countdown and all that. But when 12.00 came.... NO FIREWORKS !!!!!! We had an absolutely clear view of Dataran Merdeka, the Twin Towers and Menara Kuala Lumpur. But there wasn't anything to see !! Only some lousy spotlights which we could barely see. Hmph. There were all these tiny tiny (well, they LOOKED tiny from the 41st floor) fireworks all over the place but well, they were WAY too far. So the guys played snooker and Carmen and I tried to get them to take pictures. We failed miserably, needless to say. Especially with Michael. But I did get a pretty good candid shot of Mike lecturing Carmen on why he doesn't like posing for photos. Noooooooooo ! Somebody deleted my candid shot of Mike lecturing Carmen! Hmph !! I can't find it !!! Oh well.

Carmen, the ever so gracious hostess offers us muffins baked by her. I know you guys are thinking " *gasp* Carmen can bake???", and I assure you, people, she can. Mankind is doomed.......... hahahaha... Just kidding, Carmen. :)

The ding dong attempting to look cool while holding a stick he can whack me with. XP Nah, actually Jia Ming's pretty good at pool. But, you know, I'm not much of a judge, seeing as I can't even tell the difference between the -what was it??- stripes and circles balls? Something like that.

Another fella trying to look cool. And the ding dong was too busy emo-ing and didn't realise he stepped into the picture. Terence is pretty ok at pool too. But again, don't trust my opinion. Seeing as.... well, you know. XP

Oh, btw, I LOVE this song...... Gotta go my own way , a High School Musical 2 song. I've already watched it, by the way. *smirks* =D

Pink- Gabriella ; Blue- Troy

I gotta say what's on my mind
Something about us doesn't seem right these days
life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try, somehow the plan is always rearranged
It's so hard to say
But I've gotta do what's best for me
You'll be ok..

I've go to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here I hope you understand
We might find our place in this world someday
But at least for now I gotta go my own away

Don't wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up and I watch them fall everytime
Another colour turns to grey
and it's just too hard to watch it all slowly fade away
I'm leaving today 'cause I've gotta do what's best for me
you'll be ok..

I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here I hope you understand
We might find our place in this world someday
But at least for now I gotta go my own away

(What about us?What about everything we've been through?)

What about trust?

(you know I never wanted to trust you)

and what about me?

(What am I supposed to do?)

I gotta leave but I'll miss you (I'll miss you)

I've got to move on and be who I am

(Why do you have to go?)

I just don't belong here I hope you understand

(I'm trying to understand)

We might find our place in this world someday but at least for now

(I want you to stay)

I wanna go my own way
I've got to move on and be who I am

(What about us?)

I just don't belong hereI hope you understand

(I'm trying to understand)

We might find our place in this world someday
but at least for now
I gotta go my own way
I gotta go my own way
I gotta go my own way


I WILL forget about it. I will NOT think about it. I will FORGET I even saw it. Oh My God.. Why did I even do that.. Why why why.. All I succeeded in doing is hurting myself more. AGAIN. When will I ever learn??? Someone please shoot me !!!!!!!! Sigh....

Sunday, 26 August 2007



Leader: James Ng Wen Liang
Co-Leader: Dylan Lee Mihn Tang
Jeorgein Calixtus
Alphonsus Kiu Huai En
Cheah Shu Li
Ruth Cheng Tsin En
Eugene Chong
Ling Li-Yen
Ooi Zhao Feng
Alexandra Ai-Xian Tan
Tye Li Ping
Regina Yan Ginny

Lookie !!!!!!! :) I watched Ruth perform today! They are CHUNTED. The Malaysian Philharmonic Youth Orchestra (MPYO). Because, you know, they're good enough to make me feel sleepy. Which is a good thing. Seriously. I'm not joking. XD I DID make an effort to stay awake ok?? By, you know, staring at Ruth and her finger movements and all that. They were too good !! What was I supposed to do?? Heheh.. It's a compliment. In a very warped sort of way. >.< Good music puts me to sleep, see? Anyway. Ruth is the best. :)

Wednesday, 22 August 2007

way to go.

I WILL calm down.
I will not overreact.
I will stay out of it.
I will not ask any questions.
I will not be curious.
I will not get emotional.
I will not be sensitive.
I don't care about it.
It's none of my business.
What's over is over.

Yes. That's it, Caitlin... That's the way to go.

Now, if I could just do all that...

Tuesday, 21 August 2007

Em...... =D

I had to wake up at 4.45 a.m. today. I was at Sunway Pyramid (skating rink) by 5.45 a.m. Class (semi-private lesson with Carmen) started at 6.00 a.m. to 7.00 a.m. 1 hour class. At 6 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING. I finished practicing and left the rink at 9.30 a.m. The whole shopping mall was still dark. The only shops that were open were Mc Donalds', KFC, Bistro Delifrance and the likes. By the time I reached home (10.00 a.m.) my dad and my brother were eating breakfast. Dad hadn't even gone to work yet. Gary hadn't even gotten out of his pajamas. NOW do you people understand why I have a sad life?? Oh, did I mention that I was at the rink two days ago (Sunday)? And yesterday (Monday)? And I'll be there tomorrow (Wednesday)? But honestly, I don't really mind going skating. I don't really mind practicing my jumps (axel, double salchow, volley-volley, double toe-loop, combination jumps), my spins (layback, flying camel, combination spins) and my footwork (figure loops, rockers, counters, edges) till my whole body aches and I have blue blacks all over. I DO mind having to wake up so early, though. And I DO mind the effort it takes to drag myself around with aching joints after practicing. Sad, sad, sad. Oh well. :)

On a happier note, I have two new found hobbies. Take a look. :)

Knitting and folding paper roses. I assure all of you that I really DID do them. Cross my heart. :) My mum just thought me how to knit today. That's what I've done so far, in the pictures. It's really ...... therapeutic. Seriously. Definately something to try if you want to escape from the mundane world, or if you want to find respite from problems.. etc. :) And the rose.. I was thought how to fold them by one of my classmates. I probably shouldn't mention his name, because I don't think he wants people asking him to teach them. He says if too many people know how to do it then it's not special anymore. Which IS kind of true. He asked me not to teach anyone. So don't bug me to teach !! I had to practically beg him to teach me. :) Although I'm actually wondering who he wants to keep it special for. ;) But I digress. It took me a bit less than an hour to learn how to fold a rose.. during Moral period and most of Biology periods. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?? XP

Monday, 20 August 2007

Vote for Hui Jing !!!

Hey everyone, please go to the link below and vote for Hui Jing in the Elianto Gal Search 2007 !! It'll only take a minute, seriously, and she could win this thing !! Help support her, ok??

You're not the kind of person...

You're not the kind of person who remembers words uttered long ago.
You're not the kind of person who sinks yourself into once happy memories.
You're not the kind of person who dreams of the distant past.
You're not the kind of person who wants to relive a past life, no matter how wonderful it was.
You're not the kind of person who sits down and ponders about what might have been.
You're not the kind of person who feels eternally grateful for the things people do for you.
You're not the kind of person who can be depended on for the rest of anyone's life.
You're not the kind of person you once were.
At least....... I don't think so.


Why is no one updating their blogs??? Oh. Yes. Exams. Right. For a moment there I forgot that such a thing existed. XP Anyway, this is something Carmen wrote a long time ago (well, a few years back. About 2 or 3 years.) and has since forgotten that she wrote it. I shall remind her. ;)

by Carmen Teoh

I'm sitting by the window, staring...
Staring at the cars zooming by,
The clouds are darkening,
And I keep asking myself "Why?",
It's been a week,
That we haven't spoken,
But it feels like eternity,
And that it will never end.
We were good friends,
Always together,
But somehow or other,
He seemed to drift,
Further and further until he was gone,
I should have seen it coming,
When he started to ignore me,
It hurt so much,
I could feel my heart breaking,
The pain was like feeling...
Feeling my heart being ripped into pieces.........
The rain is falling, thunder is flashing,
Somewhere up there, someone is crying........
And down here, so am I.
So. What do you think? Not too shabby, huh? I wonder who she was referring to..... (By the way, Carmen, I take credit for whoever teases you about this. I deserve it. That's your poem immortalized in my blog, word for word, fullstop for fullstop. Seriously. You should thank me.) XD

Sunday, 19 August 2007


It's LATE. It's 2 a.m. I kind of sleepy, yet not sleepy at the same time. I suppose if I lie down on bed I would fall asleep. As of now, I still have yet to find the inspiration that will lift my butt off the chair and un-stick my eyes from the computer screen and then carry me to bed where I can crash out. I have stroking class (figure skating) tomorrow morning. I have to wake up at an hour at which normal human beings should be dreaming beautiful, beautiful dreams. I have a sad life.

Wish me luck in finding that inspiration.. and in keeping my eyes open during stroking class tomorrow!

New spectacles !!!

I have an announcement to make.

I. Have. New. Spectacles. *pause--waits for applause*no applause* Hmph. *sniff* My spectacles' power is freakishly high. Gah.... I'm going to go blind soon !!! Okay, fine, maybe I'm exaggerating. But still !!

Anyway. My dad says it makes me look mature, like, college student-mature (I wonder if someone paid him to say that... ". XD ) . My mum says it sort of looks like her grandfather's old spectacles (she is sooooo very supportive, isn't she? =P ). My brother... ok, I'll not get into THAT detail. =) Carmen thinks it makes me look like an owl. I have yet to work out whether that's a compliment or an insult. Help, anyone?? XP

So. What's your verdict?

And how does it look with short hair? ". Nah, I didn't cut my hair, guys. I think it's an ok hairstyle. Except that I can't get it to stay like that for more than two minutes. But I digress.
So. Back to the spectacles! XD

Saturday, 18 August 2007

My hand....

Welcome to the Light.

See? Told you my favourite canvas is my hand. :) I did that during Biology. It wouldn't come off for three days. The ink, I mean. =P In fact, I can still see the traces of it on my hand.........

Love is not to forget but to forgive,
Not to see but to understand,
Not to hear but to listen,
Not to let go but to hold on..

Sunday, 12 August 2007

Heheh.. XP

I feel pretty tired now. Even though it's only 10.00 p.m. This would probably be due to the fact that I spent a major portion of the very very early parts of the day watching Pirates of the Caribbean. =P I watched the first two (Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest) till about3.30 a.m. By the time I got myself ready for bed, it was already 4.00 a.m. But, you know, whoever reads this.. shhhhhhhhh.. don't tell my mum okay? She came up to the TV room and told me to go to sleep in 10 minutes at approximately 12.30 a.m. =P So I overshot the time by.... heheh... almost 4 hours. Eeeeeeee!! =P

Saturday, 11 August 2007

An essay..

I have this peculiar tendency of taking supposedly factual topics and turning them into fictional stories. I don't know why. Although I do find it very satisfying, I still can't figure out WHY I do it. Hmmm. Food for thought. Anyway. Here it goes !

"Mummy, mummy, mummy!" I stumbled as I ran crying towards Mother.
Mother gazed at me with her large, greenish eyes. They looked sad, as if there was a great pain within her. Her tender gaze made me cry harder as I stumbled to her on all fours. The concrete floor felt cold to my feet.
I buried my head in her soft belly. She stroked my head. She understood. I felt a little comforted. I raised my head. Hot tears welled up in my eyes. Mother wiped them with a paw. My sister, Nala peeked out from behind Mother. She walked towards me and rubbed herself against my body. We lay side by side in front of Mother, and she told us the story of her life.
"Listen, oh my children, for you are the son and daughter of a King," Mother said as she began her tale.
Many years ago, I was young. I remember the vast plains, the fresh grass, the dry Savannah, the scorching Sun, the cool night, the wild forest, the homely cave. I remember the frolicking, I remember the desperate hunt for food, I remember the cold rain and the beautiful morning dew. I remember gazing up at the heavens, I remember the wonderful lights in the sky that appeared only on the darkest of nights, I remember the music, the sweet music of the wilderness.
The playful days I spent frolicking around with my kindred, the cold nights when I huddled with them for comfort... I will always remember. When we came of age, my brothers left to find mates, and to start their own prides. I, I watched many, all fighting to be my mate. At last, one, the one I had set my sights on, triumphed over all the rest. We took our place in the pride, and we made sweet love. For a time, we were happy.
Mufasa (your Father, children) was a good King. He governed his lands and his pride well. He was always fair and just. He often roamed out alone to watch his people, to survey his lands. For many a year, peace reigned.
On a dry afternoon one day, Mufasa came back to the cave where I lay, pregnant. He was grievously wounded. I snarled as I saw a rounded metal thing embedded in his shoulder, and blood on his paws and chest. With the last of his energy, he told me that something was destroying our forest. Some monster. He charged me to round up the pride and lead them to safety, beyond the reaches of this monster. He reminded me that he would linger on in my heart, and that I must be strong. With a great shuddering breath, he closed his eyes... forever.
I left the cave, my heart miserable with sorrow and my world torn asunder. I did as he charged me to, and fell back as the pride ran to safety. I was weak. Blundering around, I stepped on something sharp. That thing, whatever it was, snapped. It was like... teeth that cut into my flesh, teeth that would not let go. I howled in pain. That thing would not allow me to move. I felt something pierce my neck. Then... blackness.
When I awoke, I no longer knew where I was. I had never been in such an enclosed space before. The ground, I had never in my life seen such ground. It was not grass, or any kind of sand. I felt drowsy. I turned my head. Beyond some kind of sticks that held me in wherever I was, I could see my home. Or, what was left of my home. The plains where I had frolicked in as a child was littered with many strange things that did not belong to the wilderness. The forest... the trees that had once sheltered me, they were nothing but stumps now. The water... the glorious, rushing, sparkling water I used to play in, where was it now?? There... there... but it was not as I remembered it. No longer was it clear and sparkling. It was... dark... and ugly. I could look at the destruction of my home no more. I turned aside and wept.
I cried for my mate, I cried for my pride, I cried for the fate of my home, I cried for my unborn children. I cried myself to sleep.
It has been many years since then. I have loved, lived and had it all taken away. I feel sorrow for you, my children, who will never experience for yourselves the memories of my childhood which I have shared with you.
Mother's huge eyes misted over as she ended her tale. I felt Nala shivering against me. Unashamedly, I let my tears fall freely.
" But who would do this to us, Mother, who would cause so much destruction?" I cried out.
Mother looked at me full in the eyes and shivered, even though no wind stirred. "My son..... they call themselves... Man. "

Tagged by Michelle !! :)


We have to post these rules before we give you the facts. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
1. I like to appear unafraid/cool/calm/collected/etc. . I don't really know why. It's not that I'm confident or anything. I just don't like to show that I'm afraid, or nervous. ". It's almost as if I'll panic more if I let myself panic in the first place. Does that make sense? I try very very hard to keep my cool. I suppose I like leaving impressions of confidence as well. XP
2. I can get so "lost" in a story book (especially fictional books) that I don't even hear what the people around me are saying. :) I love doing that. It's like, I'm so drawn into the book. It irritates my brother, sometimes. He calls me and I unconsciously reply "hmmm?" and he asks his question and I don't answer him, because I never really heard him. Cool, right? I swear, I don't just do it to irritate him. :)
3. I don't train for running (or any form of athletics). A lot of people think I do. I have yet to figure out why. ". Plus, a lot of people say I have good stamina and all that. Well, even if I did use to, I don't anymore. I've grown fat and lazy. :) All I do is skate. I suppose that's cross-training, in a way, but that only applies if your coach is Coach Jenny. Or probably Coach Sergey as well. XP
4. I like colouring stuff. Just colouring stuff, not producing artistic masterpieces. :) I waste a lot of ink that way, but I get a lot of satisfaction from doing the colouring. With a pencil or a pen, usually. Not colour pencils. =P Ooh, one of my favourite colouring places - my hand. Seriously. I like writing (drawing) my initials 'CK' on the back of my hand and then colouring it in. :) It's fun. Really. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?? XP
5. I LOVE bright colours. With the possible exception of black and white. :) Pink. Bright Green. Turquoise. Lilac. Yellow. Red. Actually I like a lot of colours. But black and hot pink are my favourites. :) My favourite colour when I was like, 5 years old (a little kid !) was yellow. Almost everything I had was yellow. From my tooth brush, to my towel, and my favourite shirt. Old habits die hard, I think.. my towel and toothbrush are still yellow in colour. XP
6. I don't worship/admire/whatever you choose to call it celebrities. Like. "OMG, he is soooooooo hot!" *nudges carmen & yee hooi* XD I don't do that kind of thing. Don't know why. I just don't think they're hot. Or that they're worth that kinda attention. >.< I think I have to apologize to Carmen, at this point. =P But really. I don't begrudge anyone who thinks Daniel Wu or Channing Tatum or Enrique Iglesias etc.. etc.. is hot. :) Some people find it hard to believe.. but hey, you don't have to stereotype me just because I'm a girl !!
7. I'm a pretty complicated person. Sometimes when I try to explain myself, I end up getting confused. Weird, no? You'd think I know myself better than anyone. Oh well. I think I like it this way. It gives me something to think about. And space out about. :)
8. I'm kind of like a tomboy. I love sports, climbing, jumping and running around more than shopping. :P I'd love to climb Mount Everest some day. I like doing things that people think girls are too fragile or dainty to do. And I like challenging guys. Like, you know, so what, I can do it too ! =P Give me a tree to climb any day. XP
I'm not going to bother tagging anyone. Well, I can't think of anyone to tag who hasn't been already tagged. But that's not the point. :) Whoever wants to do this, just do it, okay, don't wait for somebody to tag you ! Ooh. Brilliant. I just thought of some people I can tag. :)
1. Shevie. 2. Niniek. 3. Shiyi 4. Louise 5. Ah, crud. I've run out of names. XD

Friday, 10 August 2007


Description for those born in the month of December....

This straight-up means you are the most good-looking person possible..... Better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Has lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. One guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves music. Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive.
I find that most of those descriptions fit me pretty well. Me being born in December, and all. But, MOST OF THEM, I SAY. Go figure. :)
-I think I understand now-

Sunday, 5 August 2007

good luck!

Good Luck Yee Hooi !! We're all crossing our fingers.. Must pass the first time OK? :) Don't crash, don't give your driving examiner a heart attack, and don't scream and close your eyes!! All the best, girl !! Mwah ! XD

In my opinion ...

Most people think that Jess Teh Hooi Wen (picture on the right) is stupid and is commiting a sin for defending her boyfriend Ong Chee Leong (picture on the left).
People, think about it. She's already lost her daughter, Shearwey Ooi Ying Ying. She's already suffered the death of a loved one. Do you think she would want her boyfriend to be hanged or put in jail? I'm not saying that what she did (make a false report) is right. I'm not saying that her boyfriend shouldn't be charged for killing his daughter. All I'm saying is, all those people who stood outside the courtroom where they were being sentenced.. Who are you to call Jess Teh a dog, or accuse her of commiting a sin for defending her boyfriend? Have you been in her position? I'm sure she knew as well as all of us who commited the murder of her daughter. But she chose to protect her boyfriend. Notice, I do not say that she is right, neither do I say that she is wrong. She CHOSE to protect her boyfriend. Can anybody safely say that they've been in her position? Yeah, people say, "I wouldn't protect him. He murdered my child. He's a murderer. He should be punished." But have you been in that situation? Do you know how hard it is? She loved her daughter, I'm fairly sure. She loved her boyfriend too. I doubt very much that she'd want to suffer the loss of another loved one. What else does she have left, if her boyfriend is convicted? Again, I'm not saying that he should be set free, or he shouldn't be convicted. That is up to the law, not me. All I'm saying is.. people.. next time, before you go around calling people dogs or accusing them of commiting sins.. Put yourself in their shoes. Don't be arrogant enough to say "I would never have done that". Who knows what you would have done, unless you were in that position yourself? Have some empathy, people. We're all homo sapiens. We all have feelings. OK? Think about that next time.

Saturday, 4 August 2007

go go go !!!!!!!

Pretty pretty pretty please? :) You want to, right? You know you want to... :) hehe.. please please please.. to both links, yeah?? Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaankiew !!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

my personality flaws --->

my personality --->

Suicidal .......... XD

*GASP* I'M DYING .........
Farewell, cruel world ... I leave in search of a better place, a brighter future, a new path, a happier dream, a divine meaning......................................
ah, who do I think I'm kidding?
But I scared you guys, didn't I ? *big grin* Let me see, who fell for it....
Fai Chun, Bin Yun, Jie Hui, Chen Han, Cheng Chun, Guan Ming, Mon Wei, Yi Ping, Jia Ming, Gary, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand ....................... my mummy !!!!! XD
Not bad, eh? :)
I think there might have been a few more people, I can't remember who though.. =P Cheng Chun's reaction was especially funny. He still refused to look at it even though I told him it was paint. =P
You probably are wondering why I would do such a thing. Fine, I didn't do it. Purani did. My hand, her masterpiece. XD Well, it all started....................
The guys in my class (5S6) asked us girls (specifically, Purani, but, you know, yours truly is a very busybody person.. XD ) to help them paint stuff for the noticeboard at the back of the class. Purani was painting a hibiscus flower. I was amusing myself with the brush, paint and paper. -need I say more?? :) - Louise decided that she wanted to scare Kar Jun. She requested that Purani draw a line across her vein on her right hand. So that's what she did. Draw a stroke of red on Louise's wrist. Louise waited for it to dry, then smeared it a bit. Purani said that she'd do it properly for Louise after she finished painting the hibiscus. Louise was happy with her "cut" and she didn't want to spoil it. I told Purani she could draw on my wrist if she wanted. She did. Thus, the masterpiece was born............. :)
Yes, I really don't have anything better to do. So sue me. XP

I don't understand ...

Why do I put myself in positions where I KNOW I'll get hurt? Why do I feel this weird compulsion? Why do I feel as if I NEED TO KNOW? Why is it that I feel this way? Why do I want to do things that I shouldn't be doing, since it's got nothing to do with me anymore? Why do I care so much? Why do I need to feel needed? Why do I need comfirmation for things that aren't confirmed? Why do I have so much faith when the evidence right in front of my eyes suggests otherwise? Why am I still saying "what if"? Why am I still picturing a future? Why can't I stop asking myself "why is this happening to me"? Why do I relate everything to all those times? Why do I even remember all those times? Why do I feel the need to remember all those times? Why do I need to know stuff that I know is going to hurt? Why do I think "next time"? Why do I try to find ways around fate? Why do I even try? Why do I keep on hoping?
~dance like no one's watching~
~sing like no one's listening~
~love like you've never been hurt~
~live like it's heaven on earth~