Thursday, 31 July 2008

It makes me wonder...

Why some people get all the luck.


Why some people get all the good guys.


Why some people get all the brains.


Why some people get all the looks.


Why some people get all the admiration.


BUT IT'S OKAY.


People (like me) who are not as fortunate as some people, make do with the limited resources we have. WHICH IS MORE THAN ADEQUATE, ANYWAY.


=)=)
















I think that there is something you should know.

Wednesday, 30 July 2008

Appeased.

My belief in the ability of the human race to do good is restored........





TRINITY COLLEGE TALENT QUEST

5th SEPTEMBER 2008

6.30 p.m. - 9.00 p.m.

BUZZARD LECTURE THEATRE, EVAN BURGE BUILDING

Minimum donation for entry: $5


REMEMBER, it's for CHARITY.


Thank you, thank you, thank you to Mr. Gordon and the Overseas Christian group people who so kindly CANCELED their booking of the theatre so we can use it for this CHARITY EVENT. E-mails with details and all will be sent out soon. =)=)


*almost* Everything is right. =)


And to my darling MICHELE ... 


"Just because everything's changing, doesn't mean it's never been this way before". 


Hugs & kisses darling, it'll happen when the time is right, you'll see. ;)












Our dreams are young and we both know, they'll take us wherever we want to go.

Tuesday, 29 July 2008

Frustration.

It's absolutely OUTRAGEOUS.

I just had that meeting with the person from Functions@Union House today. And you know what? The CHEAPEST they can give FOR A CHARITY EVENT is $600.


$600.


Doesn't sound too bad, for hiring such a large room etc. But the problem is, THIS IS FOR CHARITY. And the aim is to raise $1000. So it would *kinda* -being sarcastic here- defeat the purpose of having the event if HALF THE MONEY RAISED IS BEING SPENT ON THE VENUE.


ARGH. 


And you know why they can't do it? Because September, October, November and December are the busiest months for them, and they "actually have events booked back to back" in that room. So even if it was in August, the absolute BEST PRICE they could give would be $400. And that's just the room hire, not including staging etc. Damn it, why is it always all about profits? They kept telling me that the Grand Buffet Hall has a revenue of $15, 000, so they "can't afford to let it out for free even for a charity event". Does anybody else see the irony of that, or is it just me??


BUT WHATEVER.


Not going to have the Talent Quest at the Grand Buffet Hall. Costs too much.


So looks like it's going to be at the Evan Burge. Can open up the rooms in front, so that can be the stage, and then can probably add another 50 chairs or so, then there would be enough seats for about 200 people. I wish .. I just wish we could have had a bigger space, but FINE, we'll make do with what we have. So there shouldn't be a problem with that right? 

BUT AH.


YOU'RE WRONG.


Or, rather, I was wrong.


You see, the Evan Burge is booked by some overseas Christian group on Friday, September 5th. Okay, FINE. BUT THE PROBLEM IS. They've booked it the week BEFORE that, and the week AFTER that as well. Again, FINE. Try Thursday, September 4th. Which looks alright, until ....... RESIDENTIAL COLLEGE STUDENTS TUTORIALS. Which happen on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings. So FINE, try Wednesday, September 3rd. Which is also perfectly alright, UNTIL....... Trinity Residential College keeps that place free on Wednesday nights, just in case visiting scholars etc. come and they need to use it. ABSOLUTELY F***ING BRILLIANT.


IT'S JUST SO FRUSTRATING.

First I had to see Kim, the dean of student welfare, and Rose. Kim told me I needed to clear it with Kelly, from student services, so I did. She gave me the contact details of the people I'd need to liaise with to get a venue. So I contacted Malorie, from Functions@Union House, Felipe and Cathy. NO LUCK, obviously. So I go back to Kelly, and it seems like there's no other option but the Evan Burge. So she asks me to see Bernard Leigh, who's in charge of bookings for the Evan Burge. Then he calls Jane Garton, and she says that usually students aren't the ones who do the bookings, it's normally through the teachers, so she suggests I get Rose to do it. Bernard Leigh also gives me a Mr. Gordon's number to call, just to see if the overseas Christian group is willing to let us have the Evan Burge for that day. So I call the said Mr. Gordon on the way to Rose's office, and he says he'll check, and will have the answer by this Friday. I talk to Rose, and she tells me that it's difficult, and how people are all just about money, and yadda, yadda, yadda. But she says she'll talk to Bernard once I have the answer from Mr. Gordon about the availability of the room on Friday, September the 5th. Plus, I've kept in contact with all these people via e-mail, to set up meetings, etc., and also I've been sending emails to OTHER people, to see if they are willing to sponsor prizes, etc. 


AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

I did all this stuff IN BETWEEN CLASSES, during lunch, etc.


AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

I have a full timetable. Full day, from 9 am to 5.15 pm, every weekday. Full, because I work on my Maths with my tutor during my free periods. Every Friday morning, at 9 am, and on alternate Wednesdays (the Wednesdays that I don't have Chemistry practical), from 9 am to 12.30 pm.


YES, I'M BITTER.


YES, I'M A LITTLE STRESSED OUT.


YES, I'M FRUSTRATED.


NO, I'M NOT DROPPING THAT EXTRA SUBJECT, OR ALL THE OTHER STUFF, LIKE STUDENT COMMITTEE, APPLYING FOR NIDA, AND OAKTREE.


WHY? BECAUSE I CAN DO IT.









*takes deep breath*




*exhales slowly*








All I want is for things to work out. Please, please, please, someone, just let everything work out right. That's all I'm asking for.





















I know I should be strong, but I admit, sometimes I just need someone to be a hero to me, to tell me that everything's going to be okay.

Monday, 28 July 2008

Legends.

Post with all the cam-whore pictures has been removed. For two reasons:


1. My parents said that it wasn't a good idea to put up those pictures.
2. For once, I agree with them. Embarrassing lah. XD


Watched The Dark Knight with Carmen and Li Wern today, at Melbourne Central. It's ........... quite good. But erm, heheh, a bit scary. And sad. Most definitely sad.

But the scary parts right. Like, when one of the fake Batmans got slammed on the Mayor's window? Like, you know, you didn't see it coming, that kind of thing? I totally went "ohmygoodness" OUT LOUD. A few times. XP

I wish I could remember what the prequel to that was about. Batman Returns, right? Can't remember a thing. Oh well.


ANYWAY.


TODAY RIGHT.

DURING DRAMA RIGHT.


I tell you, some, and here, I stress the word SOME, Singaporeans are suuuuuuuper lame, JUST IN TERMS OF THE JOKES THEY MAKE, mind you. No offense meant, really. It's EXTREMELY FUNNY and entertaining in a lame way.

So. During drama, we split off into groups for this term's exam thingy. I'm in a group with Jason, Randy, Jeffrey and Meg. We were throwing around ideas, things to do for our presentation thingy. Jason said something quite lame (can't remember what it was now), and we were all saying that he's being DAMN LAME. And Jason's from Malaysia, by the way.

And then Jeffrey goes:


"Ohmygod, Jason, you should be in a wheelchair, because you're LAME".


*silence*

*everyone looks at Jeffrey*

*crickets chirp*


And then everybody starts laughing. It was highly amusing. =)



Oh, and a lot of people seem to know about the Talent Quest thing, so I'll just put it out there.. It's scheduled to be on the 5th of September, people, not the 15th of August. And I'm just in the process of working out WHERE this Talent Quest thing is going to be. Meeting with somebody tomorrow, to see if we can set a venue. *crosses fingers* And I'm organising it for charity, by the way. 

The Oaktree Foundation. 

If you haven't heard of it, it's a social aid and development organisation run entirely by young volunteers (under the age of 26) across Australia. They reach out to A LOT of people in developing nations, and they were the ones who ran the End Child Slavery Campaign. This time, the campaign is "Oneday", and the significance of it is that all it takes is ONE DAY to change someone's life. The money goes to the world's most HIV/AIDS infected region (where up to 60% of people live with HIV/AIDS), the KwaZulu-Natal province in South Africa, where Oaktree's partnership organisation, GOLD (Generations of Leaders Discovered) empowers young people to become peer educators, and educate their community about this disease. It takes just $15 to educate a young person for life.


By the way, the 15th of August is the Mixer Party, which is organised by the Trinity College Foundation Studies Student Committee. $10 per entry, which buys a drink and some food, if I'm not mistaken. But look out for the posters and e-mails they're sending around. Complete details should be publicized by next week. It's a chance for the February Intake students to mix with the July Intake students and have a bit of fun. =)












What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger, so goddamnit, dry those tears and hold your head up high, because all of us are heroes, living out our own legends. -Caitlin Kang-












Sometimes you have to detach yourself from people to find out who you truly are, and who you truly can be. 

Saturday, 26 July 2008

The Wooden Nutmeg.

... sometimes things aren't what they appear to be.


Isn't the picture pretty? I took it myself, in Pangkor Laut, while we were on a sailboat. And added the words in, of course. So emo right? =)=)


Oh, and "March" is a pretty good book. It's the book we're studying in Literature this term. You know the book "Little Women" by Louisa May Alcott? I read it quite a few years back, and I LOVE THAT BOOK. It's a classic, about how four young girls learn to be gentle and graceful in the face of poverty, and when they're faced with trials and sufferings.. that sort of thing. So the story of "March", written by Geraldine Brooks, tells the story of the absent father in "Little Women". Incidentally, the father in "Little Women" has gone to serve in the war as a chaplain, and he appears to be a very loving, kind, family man who misses his wife and children very, very much. HOWEVER, in "March", he has a secret past his wife doesn't know about, and which he has hidden from her for almost 20 years.

So. Yes. I don't like the book. "March", I mean. It totally destroyed my impression of the father in "Little Women". You would understand too, if you read both the books. And remember that "Little Women" was written first.


Gah.


I'm talking nonsense.


Not like you care.


I need to start doing my essays.


I've been saying that for the past 2 weeks.


OMGOMGOMG.












Dare to dream .... BIG.

Thursday, 24 July 2008

Happy Birthday Ruth!



HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY

RUTH CHENG TSIN EN

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


<3








I MISS YOU WUFIE !!!!!!! 
(more specifically, I miss drawing on your hand .. kidding, kidding. XP)












After awhile, you start seeing connections in everything.

Priorities.



My mum sent me this email. It's quite interesting. =)

DORMITORY: 
                       When you rearrange the letters: 
                                 DIRTY ROOM 

                                 PRESBYTERIAN: 
                       When you rearrange the letters: 
                               BEST IN PRAYER 

                                 ASTRONOMER: 
                       When you rearrange the letters: 
                                 MOON STARER 

                                 DESPERATION: 
                       When you rearrange the letters: 
                               A ROPE ENDS IT 

                                   THE EYES: 
                       When you rearrange the letters: 
                                   THEY SEE 

                                 GEORGE BUSH: 
                       When you rearrange the letters: 
                                 HE BUGS GORE 

                               THE MORSE CODE : 
                       When you rearrange the letters: 
                               HERE COME DOTS 

                                SLOT MACHINES: 
                       When you rearrange the letters: 
                               CASH LOST IN ME 

                                 ANIMOSITY: 
                       When you rearrange the letters: 
                                 IS NO AMITY 

                               ELECTION RESULTS: 
                       When you rearrange the letters: 
                             LIES - LET'S RECOUNT 

                               SNOOZE ALARMS: 
                       When you rearrange the letters: 
                             ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S 

                               A DECIMAL POINT: 
                       When you rearrange the letters: 
                                IM A DOT IN PLACE 

                               THE EARTHQUAKES: 
                        When you rearrange the letters: 
                               THAT QUEER SHAKE 

                               ELEVEN PLUS TWO: 
                       When you rearrange the letters: 
                               TWELVE PLUS ONE 


                           AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: 

                               MOTHER-IN-LAW: 
                       When you rearrange the letters: 
                                 WOMAN HITLER 



Quite cool, huh? Some people just have too much time on their hands. =P

I, unfortunately, am pretty short on time, so yes, priorities, people, we've got to keep our priorities straight. Some things are worth sacrificing, others aren't. Let's see if I can work it out this semester, keep my eyes straight ahead and focus on the prize. I've done it once, and I'm gonna do it again! ;)












We had something, but it came and went.

Tuesday, 22 July 2008

I'M STILL ALIVE.


OMG YOU KNOW WHAT??



I think this guy tried to hit on me.


DAMN SCARY OKAY!


Okay, what happened was, I was at the library right, searching for this book. The libraries here are pretty huge, not like the pathetically small ones we had in high school. =P So anyway, this particular book was up on the 5th floor right, and understandably it was a little bit quiet (because it's not really the main library people go to). So there were probably less than 10 people on that floor, and that floor is HUGE. So anyway, I was all minding my own business, searching for my book, when this dude (looks quite young, by the way, I thought he was a university student) walks past, stops, backtracks and asks me, "Hi, sorry, I was just wondering, were you in Creative Writing?". And I go, "Er, no, sorry I'm not". I thought he wanted, you know, help to look for books for a project or whatever. Then he said something like, "Oh, okay". And then went off. So I continued searching for my book. 

AND THEN RIGHT. 

He suddenly came back, and I STILL thought he was looking for a book. By then I was flipping through my book, and I found that it wasn't the one I wanted. Then he started TALKING to me. Like, asked what course I'm in, and stuff. I replied politely, of course (the thing about Australia is you can't really tell when people are just being friendly or when they're being... scary). Then he started telling me how I looked like one of his old students, that's why he asked me if I was in Creative Writing (apparently he's a tutor in the University of Melbourne)

THEN RIGHT. 

I already had every intention of leaving by then. He said, "Oh okay, so maybe we should catch up sometime". And I was all, "Er, it's okay, I can't, I think, because I'm quite busy with my work and stuff, sorry". Which is true. OMG IT WAS SO SCARY OKAY. Hahaha. As you can obviously see, I have absolutely no prior experience of being hit on (I wonder why.. *rolls eyes* - this guy must be blind or have very bad taste. XP).


Ooh, I think I've got the go-ahead for the Talent Quest thing.. Need to talk to Student Services and Oaktree about it, then it looks like everything is good to go. =)

STILL busy busy busy busy busy busy.

STILL trying to work out how on earth to write my History of Ideas and Psychology essay.

STILL trying to get everything done.



AND I'M STILL ALIVE.



*beam*














Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you.

Sunday, 20 July 2008

Time waits for no man.


Omg, I'm busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy.

So many things to do, so little TIME.


Like that rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. Haha.


Voting for student committee president tomorrow. I hope I don't mess up my speech. *fingers crossed* =)


Hopefully will be able to get started with the Oaktree Foundation events in Trinity soon, once I get permission and stuff.


Also need to finish my History of Ideas and Psychology essay. ><

I spent almost 5 hours at the state library today, looking for information for my Psychology essay. Well, I didn't exactly spend the whole time LOOKING for the information, I was sort of day-dreaming. Heh. =P

Die die die die die.


Not enough time.


Need to sleep.


Goodnight. =)


P.s - NICE QUOTES.




Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. 

Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you. 

Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with him. 

Every minute spent angry is 60 seconds of happiness wasted.












Maybe I'm reading too much into it, as usual. But I love you too much to let you go.

Saturday, 19 July 2008

Raise Your Voice.


This.



Show.



ROCKS.








CUTE OR NOT?? 
Omg, the way he LOOKS AT HER.. 
*melt*


Why, oh, why do these things only happen in movies? 

*sniff*


*tear*












I'd give anything, just to hear your voice again.
Just for you to hold me tight and never let me go.
But wouldn't it be nice if we were older, then we wouldn't have to wait so long?

Friday, 18 July 2008

Exam Results


For the first time in my life, I can say I'm DAMN PROUD of my EXAM RESULTS. Like, seriously. I'm happy. =)

Marks and comments from teachers - in order of the subjects I got back first. (The marks are in percentages.. that go toward the final mark. Those are the actual percentages)


Drama
Comments: Caitlin is an exceptional Drama student. She is prepared to go outside her comfort zone to fully explore her creative side. She works very well with others and should be a valuable asset to whatever group she works with next term. Fabulous work - keep it up! 
9/10%
I wish I got full marks for this, but hey, I'm not complaining. =)

English for Academic Purposes
Comments: Caitlin is a lively student whose excellent progress is reflected in her fine presentation and exam results. 
27.05/30%
No complaints here either. ;)

Literature
Comments: Caitlin is an intelligent, hard-working and ambitious student. Her enthusiasm in class is evident, and appreciated by all. Her contributions to class discussions are insightful, and her essay was well planned, well written and interesting. She should continue to make good progress. 
27.25/30%
Ditto above.

Environment & Development
Comments: Caitlin has had an excellent semester. Her results are all strong and she is progressing well. She was also actively involved in the campaign against child slavery with a team of students and showed wonderful dedication and enthusiasm for the cause. She is a great student of Environment and Development - a true global citizen! 
46.45/50%
At first I was not that happy, but you know what? It's actually not too shabby. *grin*

History of Ideas
Comments: Caitlin is a very bright student and applies herself well in her studies. She always
makes a valuable contribution to class discussions and her first essay was excellent. 
19/20%
SUPER happy with this one. My blood, sweat and tears okay? 6 weeks of work on the essay.. fuish. Seriously damn happy with this. Highest in all my tutor's classes wei, don't mess. =) Of course, a few other people got the same marks, BUT STILL.

Mathematics 1
Comments: Caitlin has made an effort to seek additional help from me this term. I am aware that she has many demands on her time since she takes four electives and is also on the student
committee. I commend her for her perseverance and dedication to learning, and I am pleased to
report that Caitlin's mark has improved from last term's result. If she keeps up with this I am confident she can continue to improve, and do well in Mathematics 1. 
11.4/15%
Improved from last term, but hey, I can do better than this. I'll be back next time with higher marks. ;)

Chemistry
Comments: Caitlin is a friendly and quiet student. Her aptitude for practical work has led to good results in the laboratory. Her exam results reflect that she has some gaps in her understanding of chemical concepts. I would be pleased if she would accept additional help in extra tutorials during semester two. 
28.5 / 45%
Heh. I kind of just passed. But heck, it's my fault, I didn't really study. On the account of it being my extra subject and all. And I'm taking it for fun. Out of interest. So no pressure. But that's still no excuse. But whatever. At least I didn't fail. XD It sort of keeps me down-to-earth, you know? Because I put in a lot of effort for the other subjects, and I kind of didn't for Chemistry. So now I know that the results I get are proportional to the amount of effort I put in. =)

Psychology
Comments: Great work Caitlin! You scored 71/75 for the Multiple-Choice Question section, 12.5/13 for Short-Answer Question 1, and 11/12 for Short-Answer Question 2; obtaining 94.5% overall for your Semester One exam. Keep up the great work! 
43.08/45%
Okaaaay, was *kinda sorta* expecting better results, but you know what? That's good enough. =)=)




Seriously? I'm happy. For the first time ever, I understand what my mum and dad have been trying to tell me all these years - all I had to do was to put in a little bit of effort. I hope I've made you proud, mum, dad... And I'll continue doing so. *wink*












No pain, no gain. Simple as that. =)

Wednesday, 16 July 2008

Working Too Hard.



Omg, it's only been three days into college and I'm already dead tired. Possibly because of a very, very packed schedule, but yeaaah, nothing I can't handle. ;) Have to get started on the two essays this weekend. I've already got the books for my Psychology essay, going to look for the books for my History of Ideas essay tomorrow.

I did three hours of Maths with my tutor this morning .. *dazed smile* Can die one. And I had the usual 1 hour 30 minutes Maths tutorial for last period today. Haha. Oh, I went for the Oaktree meeting after that. Seriously, I tell you, those people are so awesome and dedicated. It's seriously amazing. So anyway, I'm going to have to start approaching the teachers and asking them about running the events and all.. More work to do. Gah. >< class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> (Generations of Leaders Discovered) in Kwa-Zulu Natal, Africa, where up to 60% of the communities are HIV+. So this programme is to train peer educators to be a role model (and of course, to teach) to their community. One peer educator can teach up to 80 students. All it takes is $15 to educate a child for life. It's a worthy cause, people. =)

I'm tired now, like, really, really, tired. Another full day tomorrow. *sigh*





One of my friends said that I've been working too hard (after he found out some of my results). I agree. But you know what? For once in my life, it's damn worth it, because I FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT, and I finally feel good about myself, because I REALLY TRIED, and the results SHOWED.












I just need a reassuring presence. Why aren't you here?

Tuesday, 15 July 2008

Of Gyms and Not Knowing How to Work the Equipment


I will begin by saying HOW MUCH I DESPISE GYMS.


A lot of my friends have recently joined gyms (I wonder why, do you think could it have anything to do with unfavourable comments on their weight? XD).

So anyway, they've been asking me to join as well, and I always say no, because I've never liked gyms. But recently I've been wondering if maybe it's just an old prejudice or something. Whatever it is, my new resolution for this term and for the rest of the year is to basically get up earlier every morning (6.30 a.m. instead of 7.00 a.m.) and go to the gym (there's a small gym facility in our building) to do a bit of running and sit ups. Since you know, running in Princes Park once a week obviously isn't enough. Must get back down to 45 kg lah. XD

Right. So I started today. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?? It took me positively ages to figure out how to SWITCH ON THE MACHINE. And this machine was the treadmill, by the way. After that, it took me even longer to FIGURE OUT HOW THE PROGRAMMES WORK. After much frustration and cursing, I finally figured out how to put it to manual. AND THEN RIGHT. The stupid machine right. Okay fine, this isn't the machine's fault. But the thing is, when I run, my running speed kind of like, fluctuates? Because I start quite fast, then slow down a little, then go fast again. So it's really, REALLY irritating, because then I'll need to change the speed. And you know how it always starts at a walking speed? Yeaaah, that is pretty irritating. So I made the speed go up to like, 11.5, AND I WAS STILL HITTING THE STUPID THING IN THE FRONT. By that time I kind of got tired of pressing the stupid irritating arrows, so I gave that up and like, whatever, just run. But I still kept hitting that thingy in front. Gah. Nevermind, tomorrow I intend to run at .. 13. Yes. =)

Oh, and you know what? I've got about half my results back, I think, and I guess I'm pretty happy with them. At first I wasn't too happy, but after a while... hehe. Quite good lah. =)=) Will do better next term! *beam*

Going to bed now, have to wake up at 6.30 a.m. to run. ;)












Our lives have always been intertwined, but will they yet join? That remains to be seen.

Monday, 14 July 2008

CARMEN IS AWESOME.

Note: Written under duress by (duh) the one and only Carmen herself.


First day back to class today. =)


And I am happy to report that I managed to wake up and get to class on time. *beam*

Oh, oh, during Psychology lecture today, Maureen (lecturer) totally gave me a scare. She was telling us about the exam paper we sat for last term (of which we have not yet received our results). And you know what she said? "Your year has the record number of people who failed, and I've been here for 13 years". OMIGOSH. I was going like, "Oh shit oh shit oh shit". Then she mentioned that like, 30% of people failed that Psychology paper. I'm not sure if it's 30% or 30 people, because the people in my lecture all say 30%, but the people in the lecture before ours say 30 people, but whatever. It's still a significant number of people. BUT then she said "Your year also has the record number of people who scored full marks, or close to full marks". I guess I was a little bit more relieved then, because I studied like *crap* for Psychology.. BUT STILL. After the class, Michele, Ryan, Izzati and I were talking to her about topics for our upcoming essay, and we ER.. somehow drifted to the topic of the results. Heheh. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?? She suddenly turned to me and like, pointed at me and went, "You did very well". =)=)=)=)=) She told Ryan that he did well too. And then Michele was all "What about me, what about me??" And then Maureen realised that she wasn't supposed to be telling us our results, and she said she wouldn't tell anymore. Hee=) But I'm sure Michele did well, I was studying with her and Ryan, and she was like, the most prepared of the three of us. I'm still crossing my fingers, though. Can't wait for the results. =)

Nothing much else for today, apart from the fact that English for Academic Purporses was boring as usual, and I totally didn't pay attention in Chemistry. =P

I think I'm settling back into the routine of going for classes, cooking and doing homework/studying very well. =) Did my Chemistry Practical work today, and History of Ideas reading. Going to get started on the essays (2 essays already, and it's only the first day back, can you believe it??) on Thursday. =)

I'm off to wash the dishes and then go to sleep. Goodnight! ;)













How many times do you want to run away before you appreciate what's offered to you?