I Don't Understand.

.


You know, I have GOT to stop checking my e-mails so often.


I mean like, usually people check it like, 2 or 3 times a week. Some check it everyday. And that's not too bad. But I check it like, 10 times a day. No, seriously. Okay, maybe not always 10 times a day.. but definitely AT LEAST twice or three times a day. But usually more than that.


And I don't know why! I mean, like, it's just this itch kind of thing. Like, everytime I get off the computer for a while, say half an hour or an hour, and then I get on again, I just have to open my e-mail inbox! Seriously, this is like having OCD man. Not good, not good.


Doesn't help that I've got like, three e-mail addresses. Wait, was it only three? A Hotmail one, a Gmail one, and an Oaktree one. Oh, and the the Melbourne University e-mail address. Haha. But then my Gmail and Oaktree e-mail addresses are tied together, so I send out all the Oaktree emails with the Gmail account, and all the e-mails sent to my Oaktree e-mail address get forwarded to my Gmail account, so I guess you could still count that as having three e-mail addresses.


Huh. But still. I seriously have to stop checking it so often. =/

You're not a person, you're a disease.

How Would I Know?

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Oh no I have a French oral test in two weeks!!

=(

And another essay due next week. And another essay after that.

WHY DOES THE WORK NEVER END??

I'm sure there was something else.. I just can't remember what. Grrr.


And it's FREAKISHLY cold in Melbourne. Like, seriously.


I mean, last year, I got through winter and everything just just a normal jacket. Now (and it's not even winter yet - it's still autumn), it's SUPER FREEZING COLD!!


And I always feel hungry. =( I mean like, I'm still eating exactly the same portions of food and stuff! But when I finish I don't feel full at all. And I get reallyyyy hungry really fast. Which is SO NOT GOOD.


But then again, on Sunday, I kind of forgot to eat dinner. Like seriously forgot. One word: essay-ing. Haha. Yeah, that was when I was doing the illusion half of the essay. I was concentrating very hard! Heeeee. =P


Yeah, anyway. I forgot what my point was.

Oh yeah. So it's crazily cold.

And I am super not in the mood to do any work. =(

Take me to the place where love can heal.

The Start of Something New.

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I woke up at 5.30 AM this morning!!

For what reason, I have no idea! I mean, I just woke up. And felt quite rested! Which is cool, seeing how I only got about 5 hours of sleep. Heeee that's a first.

So yeah, I was supposed to get up at 6 AM to do the dishes I've been leaving in the sink for a while, and to read over my essay and edit it. So I just lay in bed, thinking, until my alarm rang at 6 AM!

OH GUESS WHAT, GUESS WHAT??

I finished writing my essay yesterday! At, I don't know, around midnight or something. I mean to finish it around 10.30 PM, but whatever! The point is I finished it! I got stuck quite a few times too. Once at about 600 words to go.. and another time at 400 words.. and another time at 300 words, then 200 words, then 100 words left. LOL.

I think I got stuck a lot. =/

But yeah, I have AWESOMELY AWESOME friends who totally gave me enough ideas to finish the essay every single time I was stuck! Seriously. Thanks, Alastair and Ning Mao for all the ideas that I couldn't think of myself! =) Oooh and haha, thank you to the roommate for putting up with the random "eh, do you think this sounds right? No right?" I chucked at her! =p

Anyway. I'm waiting for my essay to print now, and it's taking a horrendously long time. 9 pages, I think. Hmm. My Music Psychology lecture starts in 7 minutes. Oh no. Oh well at least it's only 2 minutes away! =P

*update*
12.20 PM
Huh. So maybe next time I shouldn't print my essays when I have class in 10 minutes.
Oops. Heh. I was 5 minutes late for lecture! Blah.
But I couldn't wait to see my essay in print after struggling so much on it! Haha.

I shall post up the pictures of my awesome illusion on Friday or something! =)

I have GOT to snap out of this.

I feel like a fool.

It feels right.. but why does nothing ever go the way I plan it?

It's Violation.

.

This CANNOT be happening.

Four hours. I've been sitting down in front of the computer for FOUR HOURS.

I have done NOTHING.

Nothing except inserting the pictures I took of my illusion into the Word document. That didn't exactly take up a lot of brain power.

Four hours.

Nothing done.

On another note, sometimes, I feel that hugging my pillow really, really tightly helps. It makes the pain easier to bear.

Oh, the cruel, cruel irony.

I suppose I deserve it.

But I never knew it could hurt that much.

4 hours..

You're messing with my head.

Convinced.

.

It's 7.25 AM.

I woke up at 7.00 AM, and didn't even snooze my alarm.

I can't believe I'm awake.


I can't believe I slept so late last night - I got all of 4 hours of sleep. -.-

YOUR FAULT.

BUT!

I have good news! I finished half of my 2000 words essay due on Monday yesterday!


Cool right? I am awesome, I know!! =)


Haha but still. 1000 more words to go today.. the illusion half of the essay (I'm done with the sunset half) and now I REALLY don't know what to write.

This can't be good. =/

It took losing you for me to realise that I took you for granted.

So now I'm jumping off a cliff without knowing what's waiting at the bottom. I don't know yet if I'll come out of this alive.. but for the first time, I'm just closing my eyes and enjoying the ride.
Throw yourself straight into the deep end.

Intensity.

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And I let the image float by, because I am afraid it will fade and disintegrate if I touch it. That would be disappointing. It's like trying to hold water in your hands - disappointing, and a waste of time. -Caitlin K.-

It's moments like this when I realise that I've pushed away nearly everything that matters to me.

What have I done??

Can't you feel my heart beat's fast, I need you by my side.