..regret..

There's one thing I really regret. Something I should have done. Something I didn't do. Something I'll never get the chance to do now. I should have joined Calyx. When I see the bond between all of them..

It makes me feel sad, because I could've been a part of that. They're all so close, like sisters.

And I really regret that I'm not a part of that. The thing that makes it worse is that I COULD have been part of that.

I DID join, in form 3, during the holidays. For almost 3 months. I even went for one of the camps. But I didn't continue after the holidays.. I didn't continue and I really regret it. Sigh.. Quite a few of them tried to persuade me to stay on.. Shereen, especially.. She even told me I could make the top 5 (AJK post) and squad for 2006.. But I still listened to my mum when she told me no. I could have tried harder to persuade her to let me join. But I didn't. I guess I was partly afraid of joining the squad as well.. Afraid I wasn't good enough. Plus, I can't dance for nuts. I think.

But still... I reconsidered it again.. after Cheer 2006. I could still make the squad for Cheer 2007. But what with some.. situations and all.. -he said to join, but I knew he didn't like it- .. I just gave the same excuse.. Mum didn't let me join.

And I regret it so much.

good luck..............

Message to all Form 3s out there...

Good Luck for PMR !! =)

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My brother received this message that has been circulated by form threes around Malaysia.. I find it SO cute. Here..

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"9.30 a.m. 5 Oktober 2007. Tarikh bersejarah yang tidak dicatat dalam buku teks, bagi semua penduduk Tingkatan 3. Bendera Penjajahan PMR akan diturunkan bermakna kami telah berjaya memperoleh kebebasan. Darurat "duduk rumah study" akan dibubarkan. Perjuangan bermati-matian Dato Seri Gary Kang akan sentiasa dihargai. Untuk sekarang GOOD LUCK dan GOD BLESS untuk Perang PMR."

Ice. Figure Skating. Passion.

Practice makes perfect.


For those who don't know, this is Michelle Kwan, a living figure skating legend.


Nobody's perfect, so why practice?


And me. The figure skater wannabe.

The quote above, "Practice makes perfect. Nobody's perfect, so why practice?" is from Bryan Voo. Hope you don't mind me using it, Bryan. =P

Figure skating rocks. I wouldn't say I'm good at it. In fact I'd probably say it's the opposite of that. But when I'm out there on the ice.. Who cares what other people think of me? It feels so good to be on ice, to skate fast and feel the cool air..

No one else matters.

Training for a competition IS hard, and very tiring for the most part. All those practices at 5 a.m., all the shouting from my coach, all the falls, the frustration of being blocked while making futile attempts to jump.. But so worth it. When the time comes.. the judges in a corner, curious people watching, friends and family cheering.. I'm alone on the ice. And I love being there. I may not be good at it, but hey, I'm passionate about it, and I like performing. Being there, having gotten to that level, it makes me feel so happy. Passion for the ice. That is SO important. And people can sense it. Whether you're happy to be there, or whether you're nervous like hell.

But I don't care what people think. I don't care if I fall. Okay, fine, I do care if I fall. But I'm just going out there to do my best. To give my best. And I only have two and a half minutes to do it. So I'm going to make it worth all the hard work and effort and practice. And in the end, all that matters is that I had fun. Even if I get last placing, I still had fun practicing and being on the ice.

I love the ice. =)

Of three flying pigs and a dancing peacock. =) *just excuse me, i'm in a good mood*

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!

Trials are OVER !

Shucks.

It doesn’t sound as good as it should.

Because trials ended yesterday.

And I’m posting this today.

Mum’s fault. She was being a killjoy. She refused to let me use the computer. Instead, I got to go for a two and a half hour chemistry tuition.

And watch TV.

But maybe staying up till 2 a.m. to watch cartoons isn’t the best idea I’ve had recently, considering I had to wake up in four hours.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

I had to do SOMETHING to mark the end of trial examinations. Anyway, it wasn’t all cartoons. I watched Parental Control (the guy chose his own girl in the end, but she’s pretty whinny and is REALLY rude to his parents), Lady and the Tramp (Scamp’s Return, actually.. Scamp and Angel are soooooooo adorable!!), wanna come in? (quote the guy who didn’t win – “I learnt how to spell ice-cold today, it’s R-E-G-I-N-A.” XD ), half of Pride and Prejudice (AGAIN. Just love that show), quarter of the Wild Thornberrys (pretty idiotic), Jake Long the American Dragon (he and Rose are so super sweet!!), bit of MTV music video awards (Beyonce’s dress was downright UGH.), Lizzie Mcguire and That’s So Raven.

Oh come on. Stop laughing at me! Watching cartoons all night isn’t THAT bad.

Or childish.

Dratz, who am I kidding.

There. Go on. Laugh.





p.s- I'm better off missing him than you.. but I guess I have to stick to just being grateful.. *tough luck huh. Some people are just so lucky and they just take it for granted.* I suppose everything happens for a reason.

Gone crazieeeeeee =)

Hmmm. It's been a pretty fun week. Apart from the fact that there were exams going on, I mean. I had some fun on Wednesday. We were having Chinese and Modern Mathematics papers on that day. I don't take Chinese, you see (message to Guo Yaw : I still can't believe you didn't know I don't take Chinese. We were in the same class in form 3. How could you?? *sniff*), so some people, okay, a lot of people go around giving me the evil eye for the day. So just for fun, the day before (Tuesday), Carmen and I decided to give these people "peace offerings" in the form of Hershey's Kisses chocolate. So when I reached school on Wednesday morning, I was going around asking people, "You still love me right, even though I don't take Chinese?" and basically making them say that they love me before giving them the "peace offerings". Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? I was having fun. *pouts* =D 'cept a few people like Jia Ming and Chen Han refused to say they love me. Hmph. And I STILL gave them chocolate. See what a kind generous soul I am? -hey, quit all that coughing and spluttering!!!- XD But anyway, it's okay, they've got good *ahem* friends (emphasis on the sarcasticness of the word friends - my apologies to cas and sarah =P ) so I can't blame them. Much. *grins*

Anyway, it's three more days to the end of trials. I need an aggregate of 24 or less for either 6 of these 7 subjects to qualify for a place in Trinity College.

:Chemistry:

:Physics:

:Biology:

:Additional Mathematics:

:Modern Mathematics:

:English:

:English for Science and Technology:

I'm never going to get it. Sigh.



I just heard this song recently.. It's nice.

Eternity by Robbie Williams.

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Close your eyes so you dont feel them

They dont need to see you cry

I cant promise I will heal you

But if you want to I will try..

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I sing the summer serenade

The past is done, we've been betrayed, its true.

Someone said the truth will out

I believe without a doubt, in you..

.

You were there for summer dreamin'

And you gave me what I need

And I hope you'll find your freedom

For eternity, for eternity..

.

Yesterday when you were walking

You talked about your Mom and Dad

What they did that made you happy

What they did that made you sad..

.

We sat and watched the sun go down

Picked a star before we lost the moon

Youth is wasted on the young

Before you know its come and gone too soon..

.

You were there for summer dreaming

And you gave me what I need.

And I hope you'll find your freedom

For eternity, for eternity..

.

I sing the summer serenade

The past is done, we've been betrayed, its true.

Youth is wasted on the young

Before you know its come and gone, too soon..

.

You were there for summer dreamin'

And you are a friend indeed.

And I hope you'll find your freedom

For eternity..

.

You were there for summer dreamin'

And you are a friend indeed

And I know you'll find your freedom

Eventually.. for eternity.. for eternity...

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-..this song is for you..-

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Oh, one more song. I know it's a bit overused. But I like it. =)
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You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban

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When I am down and, oh my soul so weary

When troubles come and my heart burdened be

Then, I am still and wait here in the silence

Until you come and sit awhile with me.

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You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas

I am strong when I am on your shoulders

You raise me up, to more than I can be.

.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas

I am strong when I am on your shoulders

You raise me up, to more than I can be.

.

There is no life - no life without its hunger

Each restless heart beats so imperfectly

But when you come and I am filled with wonder

Sometimes I think, I glimpse eternity.

.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas

I am strong when I am on your shoulders

You raise me up, to more than I can be.

.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas

I am strong when I am on your shoulders

You raise me up, to more than I can be..

.

-..thanks for everything you've done..-

HAH. Padan muka. Who's regretting it NOW?? Ahahaha.. No regrets on my part, man, no regrets. Just look at who's laughing now !! *self satisfied smirk*
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-Love is not being willing to die for a loved one. Love is being willing to live for a loved one and being able to bring out the best in him/her. Love is learning to love yourself first, and loving the person your loved one brings out in you.-
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~You'll never know how much those few minutes mean to me~

bored. XP

RULES:

1. Put Your itunes, windows media player etc on Shuffle

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS

4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name



If someone says "is this okay?" you say,

Cry - Mandy Moore

(ok that's just wrong XD )



How would you describe yourself?

Eternal Flame- Michael Learns To Rock (MLTR)

(errrr.....)



What do you like in a guy/girl?

Come Clean - Hilary Duff

(hmmm. I wouldn't mind.)



How do you feel today?

You're Beautiful - James Blunt

(haha.)



What is your life's purpose?

Operator, The Line Is Dead - Jason Lo

(ok, that's just weird)



What is your motto?

Angel of Music - Phantom of the Opera

(LOL)



What do your friends think of you?

I'm your angel - Celine Dion & R. Kelly

(heheh.)



What do you think of your parents?

I say a little prayer for you - Aretha Franklin

(erm......)



What do you think about very often?

Wait A Minute - Pussy Cat Dolls

(wait........do I?? =P )



what is 2 + 2?

Slipped Away - Avril Lavinge

(what kind of question is this??)



What do you think of your best friend?

Never had a dream com true - S Club 7

(haha... nope.)



What do you think of the person you like?

Itu Kamu - Estranged

(never thought of it. ". )



What is your life story?

Hips Don't Lie - Shakira

(HAHA)



What do you want to be when you grow up?

My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion

(eh.. not really. >< )



What do you think of when you see the person you like?

Sundown - Gordon Lightfoot

(don't look at me, my brother put that song in, not me)


What will u dance to at your wedding?

I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

(Hah. Not bad. But I'd rather not this song.)



What will they play at your funeral?

Lips of an Angel - Hinder

(oh god, no way man)



What is your hobby/interest?

Jailhouse Rock - The Blues Brothers

(ugh. Another of Gary's songs)



What is your biggest fear?

Paint My Love - Michael Learns to Rock

(???????)


What is your biggest secret?

Get'cha Head In The Game - High School Musical

(erm.)


What do you think of your friends?

I'll Really Miss You - S Club 7

(yeah! I'll miss you guys after form 5.. =P )

CCRYM. Friends forever. =)

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they are meant to be there; they serve some sort of purpose, to teach you a lesson, or help you figure out who you are, or to just be there for you.





"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."




I'm so glad that I have so many real friends.




"Friends are like good bras...they give loads of support, are there to pick you up when you fall, and they're always close to your heart."




And good bras. =)

CARMEN

What can I say? I've known her for 8 years. Like she wrote in my autograph book, she's never been able to get all mushy with me. Likewise. But I shall give it my best shot. (so don't complain, carmen. XD ) =)

This woman here is a wonderful friend, and I'm glad that I can count her as one of mine. Throughout the years, we went through many things, not all good, and not all bad either. The thing that counts is that we stuck together through all of it (we didn't have much of a choice, at times XD ), and look at us now. =) We haven't always been the best of friends, but it means a lot to me that she now counts me as one of her "best-est gurlfwenz in d world" (at least, I think she does. =P ) and I'm honored to be her friend. (don't count on me ever saying this kind of stuff again, carmen, I'm freaking myself out. =P Hope you or anyone else reading this hasn't fainted yet.)

"A Friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway!!!"


I would like to think I know all about this girl. Sometimes I can predict her actions and thoughts accurately. But she can be unpredictable as well. It doesn't matter much either way, even though she does silly things sometimes (like saying that I want to get married at Al-Ikhsan sports shop), I still love her for who she is as a person. =)



"A friend is someone who reaches for your hand, but touches your heart."



She's always been there for me, and she can tell when I'm down, or just plain angry. She hears the things that I don't say (and she has to, because I won't tell her most of the time) and she makes me feel so much better just by being there.


"Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life."


The quote above is from her. I am proud to say that she is one of the biggest chocolate chips in my cookie of life. =)

Thanks for being a great friend all these years, Carmen. I know there will be many more years to come. :)

YEE HOOI

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though they know you are slightly cracked."


My dear form three classmate. Sitting beside her for a whole year (3A5) brought us so much closer together. Whispering during class, getting into trouble for not doing homework, asking for permission to go to the toilet at least twice a day, commenting on teachers' fashion sense.. She is such a fun person to know, and I'm glad I sat beside her. =) (come to think of it, I don't think we had much of a choice on that either, there weren't any other places left. XD ) But that's not the point. She's a beautiful, beautiful person and I'm glad that I have this chance to know her. =)


"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."



I've lost track of how many times she's made me feel better when I'm sad, or how many times she's made things right when everything seems wrong. She can make me feel better any day, any time, and I'm grateful to her for that.



Thanks for everything, Yee Hooi. Love ya loads ! =)

RUTH

"Friendship is like a violin; the music may stop now and then, but the strings will last forever."

I should change that to a cello. I think I will.


"Friendship is like a cello; the music may stop now and then, but the strings will last forever."

That's better. =) What shall I say about my form 4 & 5 classmate? For a start, she's a wonderful listener. She's a brilliant leader. She's a good student. She's a hardworking genius. She's a great friend. She's a passionate musician. She's a caring person. She's a sweet girl. And she's got a beautiful soul. =) Sitting beside her in form four (4 Science 6) has given me a once in a lifetime opportunity to know so much more about her and I'm happy that I had that opportunity. She's taught me so much and she's always been there to help and comfort me when I need it.



"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."

She's a wonderful girl who can always be depended on. She's ready to lend a helping hand to anyone who needs it.

Thanks for being my friend, Ruth. I love you !! :)

MICHELLE

"True friends are never apart, maybe in distance, but not in heart"


Need I say more? I've never actually been in the same class as Michelle, but being in the prefectorial board together brought us all (CCRYM) so much closer. I thank my lucky stars that I've gotten to know this girl, and that she's my friend. She has such a kind heart, and she always reaches out to those less fortunate than her. She is such a remarkable person. She never fails to touch others' hearts, and she makes people feel better when they don't feel so good.


"It is not so much our friends' help that helps us as the confident knowledge that they will help us."

I know she will always be there to lend a hand whenever I need it. As she already has done numerous times.

Thank you, Michelle. Love ya heaps. =)

"The only unsinkable ship is FRIENDSHIP."

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"I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay."

.

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"The Gift of Friendship is priceless, especially when it comes from all of you."

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"I can't call people without wings angels, so I call them my friends instead."

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"If my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be waiting at the bottom to catch them."

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Thanks, girls, for being my friends. I look forward to knowing you guys for a long time to come.

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"When you have no light to guide you and no one to walk beside you, I will come to you. When the night is dark and stormy, you won't have to reach out for me, I will reach out to you."

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long week...

I haven't been blogging for a few days. This would be due to the all too time consuming SPM trials. It's still ongoing.. Two more weeks. Sad, I know. But somehow.. I've never been happier. I feel so liberated. I've discovered a totally new side of me. One that actually bothers studying. Until 3 a.m. sometimes. And my dad has to actually come into my room and tell me to stop studying. And I don't listen to him until I'm done studying. I am so pleased with myself. *smirk* =) I never knew that I could actually sit down and study without being asked to and refuse to go to bed because I was studying.



For the first time in five years I actually bothered trying to memorise the definitions of Moral nilai(s). It took me a little over 8 hours to do it, and I ended up sleeping at 3 a.m., but it was sooooooo worth it. In the morning (three hours later) when I woke up, I felt so happy. Syok sendiri, I know. But still ! I mean, when I got to school I was smiling like nobody's business.. causing a lot of "What's wrong with you today??" comments. =P



What's more, I actually opened my Biology revision book. The freakishly thick one. All SPM students would probably know which one I'm referring to. And guess what? I actually managed to go through the whole thing. And not just by flipping and flipping the pages. I actually made notes too ! For Biology, Chemistry and Physics !! And as if to prove that this is soooo not Caitlin behaviour, when Ruth saw me reading my notes, she said, "OMG she made notes, I didn't even do that !!" =P I can be so unpredictable sometimes. However, my brother was not as flattering. When HE saw me reading my notes, he looked at me and said, "Who are you and what have you done to my sister???" Hmph. What do people have to do to get some respect from their younger (emphasis on YOUNGER) siblings these days??



But I digress.



I don't know exactly WHY this change of attitude. But I know who helped me. And I don't think that someone knows that what they've been doing has been helping me. I do know one thing, though. I am SOOO grateful. Even though you don't realise it, I owe you SO MUCH. Thank you !! =)

Oh, Carmen was feeling bored during Chinese (Essay) exam, so she did something for CRYM (Caitlin, Ruth, Yee Hooi, Michelle).. It's so cute. And so Carmen-ish. Take a look !! :)






And Carmen. I am not puny and tiny. I am not puny and tiny. I am NOT puny and tiny. I AM NOT PUNY AND TINY. Gah, who am I kidding? =P


Ooh, I made muffins the other day. Didn't take any pictures because I forgot to bring my camera down. I shall remember the next time. =) Anyway. It was orange and poppyseed flavoured. It smelt really good when it came out of the oven. :) But my mum set the temperature of the oven too high, so the next day it went a little soggy.. :( Oh well. Although I actually prefer watching/hearing peoples' reactions after eating muffins made by -of course- yours truly, than actually baking the muffins itself. :) Carmen and Ruth tried to pretend that they didn't know what flavour it was. Too bad, Carmen. Try laughing less next time. XD





His Dark Materials trilogy !!



Book 1- The Golden Compass


Book 2- The Subtle Knife


Book 3- The Amber Spyglass



Read !! It's NICE. Love the books. Shereen lent them to me, oh, ages ago. Ok, fine, two years ago. I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant !! I want my own copies !! And now the movie is coming out.. The Golden Compass. :) I SO want to watch that.





Ugh, what is WRONG with this idiotic computer?? Sometimes it's the lousy streamyx connection. Other times it's the freaking computer. WHY? The laptop works fine. But my brother uses the laptop. What is WRONG with this thing?? It is SO. I.R.R.I.T.A.T.I.N.G.

Hmmm. My brother came into my room to disturb me while I was studying physics yesterday. Random pictures of him emo-ing. =P He told me to delete them. Which I did. After I posted them up here. *grins*

Oh, come ON. I'm 17. STOP treating me as if I'm a baby. I resent that a lot.

.

.

-THANK YOU for making me notice him. I don't know if anything will come out of it, but it has made me so happy. He's a much better person than you are, and much more so than you will ever be. I'm happy, and I'm laughing at you, because you're the one who has to live with guilt as your constant companion for the rest of your days, whether you let yourself feel it or not.- Oh, and by the way? Mr. Michael? He rocks.

Everything will be okay..

Good Luck to everyone sitting for SPM trials.. :)

If you love her, let her go, if she comes back to you, she's yours, if she doesn't, she never was...

Everything will turn out right in the end, and I know you'll be okay. Cheer up and enjoy life, and remember that your friends are always there for you, because they care. =)



--can't someone pick ME for once? Sigh.. Some people have all the luck and STILL take it for granted. :'( --

Obsessed !! :)

I love Pride & Prejudice. I love Pride & Prejudice. I love Pride & Prejudice. I love Pride & Prejudice. I love Pride & Prejudice. I love Pride & Prejudice. I love Pride & Prejudice. I love Pride & Prejudice. I love Pride & Prejudice. I love Pride & Prejudice. I love Pride & Prejudice. I love Pride & Prejudice. I love Pride & Prejudice. I love Pride & Prejudice. I love Pride & Prejudice. I love Pride & Prejudice.

Love it love it love it !! I've had to resist the temptation to watch it over and over and over and over and over again. =P Of course, I've watched it before, quite a while back, but I recently renewed my addiction to it. :) I've read the book as well, both the abridged version and original one, but those were a while back too ! At least a few years back. I was soooooooooo tempted to borrow the book from the library today.. sigh.. I don't know what on Earth I did to my own copy, but I can't seem to find it, but I WILL get a new one after SPM. Ahhhhhhhh !! I want to watch it again !!!!