Mummy.

Dear Mummy,

Happy Mother's Day.

It's been eighteen years. When that figure is there, it looks so unbelievable. Eighteen years is a long time. Eighteen years is almost two decades. In eighteen years, you could have traveled the world a few times over. In eighteen years, you could have been a high ranking career woman. In eighteen years, you could have done all those things you meant to do but never got round to doing. In eighteen years, you could have done all the shopping you wanted to do without a worry in the world.


Instead, eighteen years, eighteen long years is how long you put up with me.



I remember your scoldings, your tears, your anger, and your frustration.


I remember my accusations, my dislike, my words and my tears.


It's funny, how I never noticed that you were always right. In every situation, even though I couldn't see it at that time, you were right. Maybe I should have listened to you. But maybe if I did, I wouldn't be who I am now.

You always wanted to protect me, to prevent me from making the mistakes you made, or saw others make. You wanted to keep me from hurting. You wanted to give me a life that was better than the one you had. You wanted to give me the chance to do all the things you never got to do. You wanted me to succeed, so that you could be proud of me. So that I could be proud of myself.

You gave so much. You quit your job to take care of me. You sacrificed all the things you wanted to do, so that I could do the things I wanted to do. You fought, so that I wouldn't have to.

And I repaid you by getting angry at you. I repaid you by hurting you. I repaid you by going against your express wishes. I repaid you by doing all the things you told me not to do. I repaid you by arguing with you. I repaid you by telling you that you were being unfair on me.

I realise this now.

Is it too late?


It's been a while since you've scolded me. It's been a while since you've gotten angry at me. It's been a while since you've been frustrated with me. It's been a while since you cried because of me.


I've changed. I'm not who I used to be anymore. I'm different now. I'm better off than I used to be.


Now that I look back, you were right. All those times.. you were right. I can see that now. If I could, would I reverse all that time and listen to what you said, instead of putting myself through all the things that happened? No, I don't think I would. All those things made me who I am now. But I can see that you were right. I can see that you tried to protect me. I can see that you didn't want me to go through all that. But mum, I did go through all that, and I did survive, and I'm a better person now. Is that enough?


I want to be proud of myself. I want you to be proud of me.


One day I want to look back and say, "My mum was the drive that lead me to success. She drove and drove and drove me to make me a better person. Sometimes it was hard, but no pain, no gain. My mum knew that, and she kept pushing me to reach higher and higher, because she knew I could do it. Without her, I would never have become the person I am now."


Mummy,


For all the times I didn't appreciate your love, your care, your kindness, your sacrifice and your words .........

Thank You.

For all the times I hurt you, made you cry, made you angry, made you suffer ..........

I'm Sorry.

I Love You, Mum.

Happy Mother's Day.