NIDA.

... because all I want is one shot at it.



Okay. I'm officially afraid now.


What if something goes wrong with my audition?


What if I can't remember my lines?


What if I say something wrong?


What if, what if, what if.

"Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong". Murphy's Law.

*deep breath*


Okay, time to come clean.


I'm auditioning for the National Institute of Dramatic Arts Bachelor of Dramatic Art (Acting). My audition is on Saturday... this Saturday, at 9 am. Initially I thought they took 30 odd students a year. Apparently not. They take UP TO 25 students. A year. I'm not arrogant enough to believe that I will get in. In fact, I highly doubt I'll even be asked to perform my third monologue.


So why am I doing it?


Because I want to give it a shot. If I don't do it, I'll never know. If I do it, and if I fail, at least I'll know that it's not because I didn't try. At least.. at least I tried.


And I've been practicing for over two months. Almost three and a half months, actually. Not full on practice every day, but I did something each week. And I felt ready. Until half an hour ago.


What's going to happen on Saturday is that I arrive at the said time, and then there's some briefing and some group warm up thing. I think. And then you're asked to audition two monologues. You have to prepare and be ready to perform three monologues, but you may be asked to perform only two. Which is not good. Because if you're not asked to perform the third monologue, that means they've already ruled you out. Either that or if you're called for the recall audition. In which case, good. But if you're not asked to stay for the whole duration of the recall audition... bad. So I hope to goodness that *at least* I'll get a chance to perform the third monologue.

My three audition pieces (monologues):

1. A Midsummer Night's Dream - by William Shakespeare
Character: Helena

Lo, she is one of this confederacy!
Now I perceive they have conjoin’d all three
to fashion this false sport in spite of me.
Injurious Hermia! most ungrateful maid.
Have you conspir’d,
have you with these contriv’d,
to bait me with this foul derision?
Is all the counsel that we two have shar’d,
the sisters vows, the hours that we have spent,
when we have chid the hasty footed time
for parting us, O, is all forgot?
All schooldays’ friendship, childhood innocence.
We, Hermia, like two artificial Gods,
have with our needles created both one flower.
Both on one sampler, sitting on one cushion.
Both warbling on one song, both in one key.
As if our hands, our sides voices and minds
had been incorporate. So we grew together,
like a double cherry, seeming parted,
but yet an union in partition.
Two lovely berries, moulded on the one stem.
So, with two seeming bodies, but one heart.
Two of the first, like coats in heraldry.
Due to the one, and crowned with one crest!
And will you rent our ancient love asunder,
to join with men in scorning your poor friend?
It is not friendly, ‘tis not maidenly.
Our sex as well as I may chide you for it.
Though I alone do feel the injury.

2. Dags - by Debra Oswald
Character: Gillian

Alright. I’m going to admit something I never thought I’d admit to anyone ever. I’ve got a crush on Adam. Head over heels, uncontrollable passion, etc. Unrequited passion, of course. Now I know this sounds like I’m throwing away everything I’ve said so far, and I guess I am. I know every girl at school – except Monica – is in love with him. I know he’d never go for a dag like me. I know it’s hopeless, I know all that. But I can’t help it. Just thinking he might look at me, my heart starts pounding like mad. And then I worry about whether he can tell my heart’s going crazy, and then I have to act really cool. This crush, it’s like a disease. Do you know – oh, I’m almost too embarrassed to admit this – Adam misses the bus sometimes. ‘cos he’s busy chatting up some girl or something. And do you know what I do? I get off the bus after one stop, and walk back to school, so I can hang around the bus stop hoping he’ll turn up. Just so I can ride on the same bus with him. Isn’t that the most pathetic thing you’ve ever heard? I’m crazy. I could lie here for hours thinking about him. Writing these movies in my head, where Adam and me are the stars… I try to imagine how he’d fall hopelessly in love with me and all that. Like, one of my favourites is that the bus breaks down one day in this remote place, and there we are.. stranded together. He discovers that I was this really fascinating woman all along, far more interesting than all those silly girls at school. But – I say, I can’t bear to be just another notch on his belt. So Adam has to beg me to go out with him. Grovel, almost. That’s a pretty over the top version.

3. Little Murders - by Jules Feiffer
Character: Patsy

Honey, I don’t want to hurt you. I want to change you. I want to make you see that there is some value in life, that there is some beauty, some tenderness. Some things worth reacting to, some things worth feeling. But you’ve got to take some chances some time! What do you want out of life? Just survival? It’s not enough! It’s not, not , not enough! I am not going to have a surviving marriage, I’m going to have a flourishing marriage! I’m a woman! Or, by Jesus, it’s about time I became one. I want a family. Oh Christ, Alfred, this is my wedding day! I want – want to be married to a big, strong, protective, vital, virile self-assured man! Who I can protect and take care of! Alfred honey, you’re the first man I’ve gone to bed with where I didn’t feel he was a lot more likely to get pregnant than I was. You owe me something. I’ve invested everything I believe in you. You’ve got to let me mould you, please let me mould you. You’ve got me whining, begging and crying. I’ve never behaved like this in my life. Will you look at this? That’s a tear. I never cried in my life.

To be honest - I don't think I'll get in. I wish I was just being modest. But.. *sigh*


What can I say? I'll see how it goes on Saturday.

I'm only feeling worried now because.. my friend missed her audition today. She overslept because she was up till very late practicing for the audition. Rest assured I won't stay up late practicing... but so many other things can go wrong. My heart goes out to my friend though. ><

Wish me luck?

Please don't let it go wrong.