Musings.

It's been a long time since I've felt that way.

Is it just me, or does it get a little lonely sometimes?

But I've got to get my head straight first. Studies and all are the priority for now, aren't they? I don't want to lose focus again, I don't want to go back there. I ... oh, I don't know. My mind is whirling with all these thoughts ... When I see people around me, my friends, strangers whoever .............................................. 

Me, well ... like I said, I don't want to go back there. I push people away, you know? But sometimes it gets.. GAH, what am I even saying..

THE TIME WILL COME.

I hope.

Stop it. *slaps self*

Focus.

Yes, focus. That's what I need to do. Focus.

Focus on what's important.

Those things will come later on.

Am I being too uptight, too anal?

Maybe because, again - I just refuse to go back there. You know the saying, "the night darkens before the dawn"? That time .. that was the pitch black time. And now is the dawn. And I want it to stay this way. The dawn. And it gets brighter and brighter and brighter, you know? Yes. Sorry. It's just ... rough time recently, I guess. But that's no excuse. Don't let things get to me. Yes. That's the way to go. Poker face. Unemotional. Think rationally. That's why I'm saying all this now.

"You've been my anchor all this while.. holding me back when I wasn't ready to move on, keeping me standing tall when there was a storm. You were there for me, and you held on steadfastly. I've been waiting and waiting for the right time to come, but it never came; we both just weren't ready to let go of fear. And now the time has come ... the time has finally come. Not the right time, but the time to let go, and the time to move on. Drifting where the seas might take me, swimming where the currents might flow. In my heart a glowing hope, that we might one day meet again.. this time as friends, and no more."

I'm sick and tired of playing this cat-and-mouse game, and I've waited long enough. I can't wait for you to come out of hiding because I don't know what's going on, so that's why I'm just moving along.