Sometimes.

... because sometimes, sometimes is just not good enough.

Sometimes,
late at night, I lie awake thinking of him.
Sometimes,
early in the morning, he is the first thing on my mind.
Sometimes,
in the day, I daydream about him.
Sometimes,
when I close my eyes, I see him right before me.
Sometimes,
in my dreams, he loves me the way I love him.
Sometimes,
when I feel a little sad, he is there to comfort me.

And sometimes,
when he's really nice, I feel warm.
And sometimes,
when he looks at me, I wish we were alone.
And sometimes,
when he teases me and doesn't mean it, I smile.
And sometimes,
when he laughs at me, I laugh too.
And sometimes,
when he looks into my eyes, I feel a shiver.
And sometimes,
when he holds my hand, the world is right again.
And sometimes,
when he smiles, I melt inside.

But sometimes,
when I look at him, I feel despondent.
Because sometimes,
when I see him laugh, I feel alone.
Because sometimes,
when I see him smile, I wish he smiled because of me.
Because sometimes,
when I see him alone, I pray that he will find me waiting.
Because sometimes,
when I see him cry, I wish I could hold his hand.
Because sometimes,
when I see him happy, I feel sad.
Because sometimes,
when I hear his voice, I cry in the dark.


And all the time,
when I think of him, I feel so hurt inside.

-Caitlin K.-

At what point do we admit to ourselves that this isn't working, and probably never will?