Monday, 2nd July 2007
Ok, nothing really interesting happened today. I didn't go for skating (Coach Jenny cancelled class) after school. Lucky there wasn't any class, because I was aching all over. No idea why. Competition isn't THAT taxing.. right? ". oh well. So anyway. I shall get to Tuesday, since Monday was pretty much a normal day..
Tuesday, 3rd July 2007
Ah. I was extremely pissed off today. I got sent for some kind of motivational talk (organized by the Unit Bimbingan dan Kaunseling of none other than CHS) with speakers from INTI college. You may be wondering what there is to be pissed off at, it's just a seminar. Well. For one thing, I didn't sign up for any such seminar. I got "selected" for it. For another, I was the only one in my class who was selected for it. Why was I selected, you may ask. Well, that's what I wanted to know as well, so when I reached the Dewan Kuliah (where the talk was held), I asked Cik Yong Moi Moi why. "Teacher, how come i'm so special wan, I get to come for this thing?" (obviously I said it in a joking manner). Her answer? "Hah, this one ar, my dear girl, one of your teachers reffered you for it. So you are actually referred for this, you know.. " WTH right??? So I sit through the whole seminar, and the lecturer fella was basically saying things like "It's ok if you don't get good results, you just have to try.", "Just because all of you here are reffered by your teachers, doesn't mean you are bad, it just means that you are lucky, because at the end of the day, you are the ones who know all the stuff I am going to tell you." and "If you have gotten into discipline problems before, it's okay, just make sure next time you don't do it again." So the implied meaning is ---> I should be grateful that I get a chance to hear the friggin lecturer speak, so that I will realise and change my oh-so-horrible-discipline-problem attitude, and, oh, it's okay if I'm stupid, all i have to do is try harder so that I can score in the next exam, since poor me, I didn't score in this exam because I'm not confident in myself.
Can you imagine how insulting that is? Plus, out of all the 40 people there, I was one of the only 5 females, and the only female from the Science stream. Go figure. So I sat there and looked like a thundercloud for the whole 3 periods. Wong Yee Hui kept turning back and looking at me and mouthing "what's wrong?" while Jeffery (who was beside me) was keeping track of how many times I cursed the teacher for dragging me into a seminar I soooooo do not need. When the talk finally ended, I asked Puan Lim Peck Chu which teacher was the one who referred me to this talk thingy. And she said that this information must be kept confidential. Okay. Fine. I can accept that. Then she asked "why?". So I told her straight to her face, "Because, teacher, I don't think I should be here. I don't think I'm stupid, and I have enough confidence in myself." And then she says, "No, no one said you're stupid, the speaker didn't say that.. I think you didn't hear properly or didn't understand what he was saying..." WHICH MEANS SHE THINKS I'M STUPID SINCE I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND, RIGHT??? Geez. It is so infuriating okay... I can name so many other people who should have been there instead of me.
Apparently I don't care about my studies and think that they aren't important because, bless me, I'm too lazy and I think I can do well in life even though I screw up the exams. Well, he's (the speaker) is right, I DON'T care about my studies, but it's because I know that my interests and potential careers lie BEYOND THE FIELDS OF ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENTS. So there. And I just said I don't care. I never said I didn't want to do well. So, does anybody STILL think I should have been at the freaking "motivational talk"???
I was in a very foul mood today. And someone hung up on me at night. Which, needless to say, made me even more hurt and pissed off.
Thus ended my oh-so-fun Tuesday.
Wednesday, 4th July 2007
Had double period with Puan LLL today. I was pretty scared. I sat like, at the corner (she was having class in the library) because I was scared. =P She said (in front of the whole class) that she did not mean to criticize me, blah blah blah, and the only reason she shouted at me is because she was feeling stressed on that day, and because, apparently, I was being rude to her. I don't see how, but hey, she's always right, isn't she? So. Then I wanted to ask her (in a very polite voice, mind you) how I was rude to her. "Teacher, I'm sorry if this offends you, but I'd like to..................." and she interrupted me. I was about to say "to......(know how was I rude to you?)", but, like I said, she interrupted me by saying, "It's too late for that, the damage has been done." Er. She didn't think I was going to apologize to her, did she?? ".
I've realised something.. It doesn't make things easier, but I guess it helps me to accept things as they are, and not to harbour any hard feelings towards anyone, no matter how unhappy, sad, disappointed, betrayed or hurt I feel...
-..people are never happy with what they have..-
Thursday, 5th July 2007
Once again, I am pretty angry. This is because Puan LLL has decided to give me 9/30 for my EST essay. Needless to say, her darling librarians (she is the Librarians' teacher advisor) got marks like 17/30 and 18/30. Fascinating, no? Especially since, oh wonder of wonders, the last term's EST essay, she gave me one of the highest marks in class (17/30), which, by her standards, is pretty decent. Puh-lease. Even Mr. Michael said I should have gotten higher marks that 9, because my essay was/is quite good. I am particularly unhappy with the very obvious show of totally biased marking. But I realise that at this point, arguing for marks is pretty useless. But still, because of this unfair treatment, my average is going to be pulled down. Can you imagine, she even had the cheek to explain to Michael Soyza that she doesn't "mark papers based on the person's name, she is very fair, etc, etc.", when he mentioned that some people are unhappy with their marks? What a blatant lie. It is so sad that I can do nothing to defend my position. I'd probably get another shouting at if I even tried to tell her that I think I deserve more marks.
Friday, 6th July 2007
I stayed back today. I was pretty high, I've no idea why.. haha. Apparently (according to Ruth, Carmen and Michelle) , I can keep myself entertained by talking to myself since no one was listening to me at all. =P but like I said. I was in a pretty good mood. Oh, I spent practically the whole morning going up and down, to the staff room, the the photocopy machine, to the Editorial Board room, to the office, to the P.K. Hem's room.. XD All to get my Editorial Board assignment done. Technically, since I'm the Editor (of the Features and Highlights English Department), I can just get someone else to do it, but hey, then I won't have a reason to walk up and down and in and out of class all the time.. genius, no?? ;) hmmm, it's my cousin, Emily Foo Ai Mei's wedding tomorrow, and she's getting married to Terence Chong. Hey guys, you can all breathe, it's not Terence Chong Kee Liem. XD So, congratulations to both of them, and I'm so gonna enjoy meeting up with all my cousins again! :)
cheerios!! :)
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