Ice.

OKAY.

I've made up my mind.


I'M GOING SKATING ON SUNDAY!!

I miss the ice. =)

Now all that remains ........... is to make sure I don't get lost on the way there. =P


I shan't count today, because today's almost ended.. So only TWO DAYS LEFT till I get to skate again!! Can't waittttttttttttttttttttttt...








Ice skating rink, here I comeeeeeeee !!!!!! =)

I'm happy!!

Ice makes me happy. *sigh*

=)

Don't give me hope if there's nothing to hope for.

So not emo. =)

Exams in two weeks!

TWO WEEKS!

Subjects to study for :-

Chemistry. More or less the whole form 4 & 5 syllabus, plus a lot of extra information they never taught us in high school. Like, enough to fit in that ridiculously thick SPM revision book, a lot.
Mathematics. Same case as Chemistry. All the old stuff and a whole lot of new stuff to boot.
Psychology. A lesser (and definitely more fun) version of Biology. 8 chapters. Still have to memorise a load of names and important experiments.
Environment & Development. No idea what to study for this. Two exams. One open book essay. Another written exam.
English for Academic Purposes. All the bibliography and referencing crap. Crap.


Hmmm. Doesn't look like so much when I write it all down like that. Maybe because those are just the exams. Now, add in the assignments..


29th May - Hand in Environment and Development End Child Slavery Campaign report.
30th May - Hand in 1200 words History of Ideas essay.
12th June - Hand in 1000 words Environment and Development creative essay.
23rd June - Hand in 1500 words Literature essay.


Add in the time we need to do research to actually DO the essays..

And the time we need to use to finish doing all those maths tutorial worksheets they give every week..

And the time we need to do laundry, cook, and everything else..

And hey presto!

No time to study.

Not good. Really not good.

Actually there is time. Really, there is. It's just a bit, you know. Tiring. But it's okay. I can cope.

I was supposed to wake up at 8.30 a.m. today (Chemistry practical is once a fortnight, so yay.) and cook, then do some Maths work. I woke up at 9.30 a.m., cooked, washed up all the stuff, took a bath, and didn't have time to do Maths because I had class at 1.45 p.m.

It's funny.. one of my friends today was saying that she found it difficult to cope. I was surprised, because she's taking the normal three electives. Maybe it's because she didn't take Add Maths in high school, so she's finding the Maths a bit difficult. And apparently the Economics and Accounts they teach here is different from what they learnt in Malaysia. But then, even though I did take Add Maths, it's not like I was ever any good at it. But I guess I still absorbed SOME things. At least. I can't say anything about Accounts and Economics, because I didn't take those in high school, and I'm certainly not taking them now. But could it be more difficult than Chemistry? I mean, I'm not saying Chemistry is more difficult. I think it's about the same difficulty. Just like there are bits in Chemistry that are hard to understand, I'm sure there are bits in Economics and Accounts that are hard to understand. But you know what? People DO get through it. Wherever you go, whether it's in Malaysia or whether it's here in Australia, you still have to do it. Nobody ever said life was easy. If it was, then everybody could do it. And if everybody could do it, then well.. you'd just have to reach higher, and it's bound to get difficult when you reach a certain stage. So why back out? Why not just keep trying? Why give up before you try?

During subject selection (months ago), I was dead set on taking an extra elective. I figured, why not, you know? No harm having some extra knowledge. I figured it wasn't a waste of time, because well, if knowledge is a waste of time, then everything else is as well. So when it was my turn, I sat down and I told the teacher (I didn't know who it was at that time, but later I found out-it was Felicity.) that I wanted to take 4 electives, instead of the usual 3. She looked at my forecast results on the sheet of paper and she looked up at me and said "If I saw straight A1s all the way down, I'd say go ahead, take four electives, you can handle it". I didn't have straight A1s. There were a smattering of As, a couple of Bs and a few Cs. Not good enough for her. She told me straight off that I wouldn't be able to cope, that I would be stretching myself too thin. She told me I would need all the time I could get to do well for even three electives. She said to me, "I PROMISE you that you are going to drop the extra subject by the end of the first term, because you will find it too much to cope with". Well, Felicity, it's almost the end of term 2, and I haven't dropped it yet. And I don't feel all that unable to cope. I didn't have to give up much. All I had to do was not spend so much time lazing around, not spend too much time on the computer. I still have time to blog, I still have time to be part of the student committee, I still have time to be part of the Oaktree foundation, I still have time for exercise, I still have time to study, I still have time to finish all my assignments, I still have time to cook, do laundry, and I still find time to get at least 8 hours of sleep every night, and I wake up at 7 a.m. on almost all weekdays. AND I still HAVE FUN. I am coping, and this is proof for you. I know it's only the end of term 2, and it hasn't gotten all that hard yet. But you know what? I've survived this long, and I'm NOT GIVING UP. Felicity, you told me that a lot of people start the year with four subjects, but about 1 in every few hundred students end the year with four subjects.. and I'm going to do everything I can to be that 1 in a few hundred. You promised me I would drop the subject by the end of term 1.. but you were wrong. I've proved you wrong. And I'll do it again.

Oooh. Totally got caught up in that whole subject selection thing. Sorry. I was REALLY pissed off at her for talking to me like that. Saying that I was incapable and all. Ugh, it just gets me so worked up. How can she say that?? Grrr..

Okay, I'm calm.

Heh. =P

Now I've got to get back to my E & D essay. Toodles.


*wink*

You're just jealous.

What if? Confusion. Torment. Reflection.

You know you have to make a decision sooner or later.

You can't keep waiting your whole life.

But what if ... what if.

What if you KNOW that there's something better out there.

But you're not sure if you can get it. Maybe in the near future. Maybe wait just a few more years.

And what if there's something NOW. Something you can get that's perfectly good in every way, but not the something you wanted.

What do you do?

Do you let it slip by, waiting, hoping for the something you wanted?

Or do you take the chance, take a leap of faith, and go with the something that's perfectly good, but not the one you wanted? And forever wonder what could have, what would have happened, if you had just waited that few years.

What if you decide to wait? And you end up without BOTH the something you wanted AND without the something that was perfectly good but didn't want.

What if ...

What if ...

What if there was something better?

What if you let something perfectly good slip away?

What if you regret not waiting?

What if you waited for nothing?

I dreamt of you. But I guess that's as far as the reality of it goes. Because I don't think you remember me.

I See the Light Sorrounding You

Light Surrounding You
by Evermore

I see you by the water
Your toes dipped in the sand
I thought that it was over
I thought you'd understand
But the feeling is returning
Though time has made us change
And I understand if you don't
Wanna talk to me about it
Tonight
Oh, tonight

Cos I see the light surrounding you
So don't be afraid of something new

Time was overtaking me
And I guess I was confused
They were all inviting me
But I wish I had refused
Cos I'd been there before
And I've seen it all
And I believe in you

And if you never had my heart
I would've never called you back
At the start that night
So I want you to know

That I see the light surrounding you
So don't be afraid of something new
Cos I see the light surrounding you
So don't be afraid of what you're turning into

Blue-eyed sun shines on me
In the morning
Can't help but feel a little cold
Thinking of you

Cos I see the light surrounding you
So don't be afraid of something new
Cos I see the light surrounding you
So don't be afraid of what you're turning into
No, don't be afraid
Don't be afraid
Cos I see the light
Cos I see the light
Cos I see the light surrounding you



















You taught me how to be strong again. But sometimes I wonder if you still remember me.

Drama Exam.

DRAMA EXAM IS OVER !!

I'm proud to say that I didn't mess up any of my lines. Word perfect. =)


I hope I conveyed all the emotions and stuff right.


We're not getting our marks until the following Monday. Everyone else is going to get their marks next week. Why? Next Monday is a public holiday. Queen's birthday. Not the current queen, one of the older Queens. It's not even a holiday in England. Or, that's what my English for Academic Purposes tutor told us anyway. He's from England, so I'm inclined to believe him. Australia still recognises the Queen of England as the head of the country, by the way. But of all days, why does it have to be NEXT MONDAY?? Grrr.. First class to do drama exam, last to get results. =(


Oh, did I mention that I'm virtually the first person in Trinity to do the drama exam? So cool right? Michele and Ryan agree. =) I say virtually because of course, there are other drama classes (one or two) that are running at the same time as mine. Drama exams run the whole of this week (June 2 - June 7), and my drama class is at 9.00 a.m. on Monday, so it's the first class of the day. And I was the first up (thanks to Roger, my drama teacher), so, yes. I still think it's cool, no matter what Carmen thinks. =)

All prepared for the monologue.

All black - emo-sial. Whaaaaaat? It was a graveyard scene. Quite cool hor? =P

Emo wey.. Hee. =)

It's not so much in the things we say, it's the things we do that make all the difference.

Traumatized.

I'm traumatized. In more ways than one.


Today was tree planting day.

It was at Trin-Warren Tamboore.

It's okay if you don't know where it is.

I didn't know either.

And I tried to walk there.

Well, I DID walk there.

It only took me about an hour and a half.

Have I ever told anybody how much I love my iPhone? It totally saved me, because of the satellite map or whatever it's called. The map they provided on the tree-planting brochure was more or less useless.

Jun and I were the only two people who weren't part of the group of about 20 Environment and Development students who were supposed to be there because that was their assignment.
So semangat, right?

Tree planting was... okay.

I should correct that. We didn't actually plant trees, we planted some kind of Australian indigenous plant. Which was grass. I'm sure the grass has a special name. I didn't bother finding out. So let's just call it grass.

Planting wasn't difficult. All we had to do was dig a hole big enough for the bunch of grass to fit in, and fill the hole back up with soil, then water it and wish it good luck. Seriously. We were supposed to wish the plants good luck after we planted them. I conveniently forgot to after planting my 5th one or so. Oh well. I hope they don't die. For good measure, I'll say it now. Good luck, plants! May you grow strong and healthy and have lots of babies!!

We headed back around 3.30 p.m. Ivan, Jun and I decided to take the train instead of walk all the way back. (Ivan and Jun walked there too-they took 1 hour and 45 minutes).

Now comes the traumatizing part. I didn't bring my wallet out. I had a tram ticket in my wallet. I didn't think I'd need it. I had money in my wallet. I didn't think I'd need it. I was going to plant trees, for heaven's sake! The trees weren't about to collect tax from me or anything. We walked to the train station. Ivan said he'd lend me money first, so I could buy a ticket. The train came. There was no time to buy a ticket. Jun didn't have time to validate her ticket. We jumped on the train. We were going to get off the train at Melbourne Central.

One stop before Melbourne Central, there was suddenly this voice that I swear, popped out of nowhere. Okay, fine, not nowhere, I just didn't notice the person until that said person talked. "Passengers, please get ready your tickets for inspection". Jun and I looked at each other. "Shit". We looked up and saw this lady wearing a clipping an official-looking badge to her white shirt.

To cut a long story short, she let us go. Thank goodness. Ivan managed to validate his ticket. So did Jae (another guy at the tree planting who joined us on the train). Jun and I were so totally panicking and everything. We wondered why they let us go. We heard they were really strict with this stuff. Which they are. They told us to immediately buy a ticket and validate it once we got off the tram. Which we did.

Scary. Ivan and Jae were laughing at my expression.

What?

It was scary.

Do you know how much the fine is?

For not having a ticket with you?

$ 162.

That's ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY TWO AUSTRALIAN DOLLARS. Convert that to Malaysian Ringgit? Multiply that by 3.08927.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to scare you.

I'm sure you can understand why I freaked out.

Ivan bought a $3.50 ticket for me once we got out, seeing as I didn't have my wallet with me. I'm going to pay him back when I see him in class on Tuesday. For the first time since coming here, I won't complain how expensive the tram tickets are.

Very traumatizing experience.

*shudder*



I've got drama (monologue) exam tomorrow morning. At 9.00 a.m.

I'm the first up.

Wish me luck.

We all try the best we can.