Friday 30 November 2007

bored .....

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.


I had my first cooking lesson yesterday. I didn't burn down the kitchen. The food was edible. Cool, right?? =P But I think I'll starve when I get to Australia. I still can't tell the difference between garlic and ginger. Ok, that's a slight exaggeration. I can, but I mix them up sometimes. Which is, you know, not something I should be doing if I have to survive on my own cooking (and Carmen's and Yee Hooi's - but I don't think I can count too much on that - kidding, kidding !!). XP




But I digress.




So now I know how to cook rice, chicken, fish, vegetables and soup. But that's only the cooking part. With the exception of rice, I don't really know how the preparations for those dishes go. Like, chopping the chicken and stuff. I did slice the fish yesterday, and it's REALLY gross. I mean .... gaaaaaaaaah. It's something I really have to learn to get used to, I guess. I don't mean that it's disgusting to handle or anything, I don't mind that so much. It's just that, well, I don't like seeing it dead while it's still raw. Cooked is okay. But raw .... ugh, gives me the chills. >.<




So anyway, I really really have to learn up about the spices and everything that I apparently eat everyday without realising. I never knew there was so much salt, garlic and ginger in the food until yesterday. Talk about a sudden realisation. Then the next step will be to actually go to the market and learn how to buy the stuff. Sigh .. that is going to take a looooooooong time.




Oh well, at least I have something to occupy myself with. Somehow, watching TV, reading story books and day dreaming don't seem as appealing as they did before SPM. Yeesh.




Speaking of which, I did have something to do with my time today. Jvn Yi asked me whether I wanted to go to Sunway Pyramid because they were celebrating Jennie's birthday (belated). So, well, why not, because I'd be in pyramid in the morning anyway (skating), so I said I'd go. So we had lunch at Genki Sushi then watched Enchanted. And I had to carry my skates around all over the place like a ding dong. >.<





Me. Jvn Yi. Yinn Jye. Louis Nga. Theng Fei.





Chen Joyce. Me. Jennie. Pei Ye. Kimberley.




Yinn Jye. Louis Nga. Jvn Yi. Hou Chuen. Theng Fei.



No idea why the wanted to take a picture with me. I told them I'd take a picture FOR them.





And now I'm trying to figure out how to work the online Student Visa Application thing. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp !!!!!

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Wednesday 28 November 2007

*grin*

I still can't believe it.



Somehow things still feel the same.



Shouldn't it feel different?



I mean, SPM is over.



I don't know, I still can't believe it.



It's just weird.



SPM always seemed so far away. And now it's over.



End.
Finito.
Tamat.



December and January will pass by in a flash.



I'll be going to Australia in February.



To study in Trinity College.



Leaving everything behind.



Don't know when I'm coming back.



Can't believe everything is going by so fast.



Sigh.



On a happier note, I spent close to 5 hours in 1 Utama today. Shopping. With my mum, of course. Because she's so nice to shop with and everything. (read : she has the credit card) =)



Now it's my turn to post a picture of my lovely, lovely new books. =)

Hee... I think that'll keep me entertained for a while. 5 classics and the "His Dark Materials" series, which I read two years ago (borrowed it off Shereen). Hey, I like classics okay?? Classics are nice. Don't get me wrong, chic lit is fun to read. It's just... I never remember what happens. Always mix up the stories. Oh well.




Tuesday 27 November 2007

Fuih.

Wow.



SPM.



IS.



OVER.




Woooooooooohooooooooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Omg, it's so totally UNBELIEVABLE. I'm seriously having trouble believing it !! I mean, SPM !! No joke ! All my life (so far) I've been wondering if I'll ever even GET to form 5. I mean, it seemed to take so long. And now................... it's OVER. SPM is OVER.


AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH !!!



That was a good "aaaaaaaahhhhhh", by the way. I don't believe it, seriously. It's so hard to believe ! It's like, I have to put a tape recorder inside my head that keeps on replaying the words..

"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."
"SPM is over."



Ok, ok. I shall stop. But copying and pasting never felt so fun before. =P



I still can't believe it.



Hey, best of luck to you guys who still have accounts and chinese.. I'm not gloating. Really. Good luck. Can't wait till all of you are done. =)



Oh, the perks of FINALLY finishing SPM...



Would you believe I actually went out with the gang today? And we went out till like, late? Like, 11.00 p.m. late. And my parents actually agreed to it. Totally wicked, right??



So anyway, we went to T.G.I. Friday .. And I was late. Dear mummy dragged me to the Pavillion after Biology exam. XD I didn't mind too much, but that's not the point. =)


Anyway. We went there to celebrate both Chen Han's birthday and the end of SPM.



The usual CCRYM picture. =P



The waiters got Chen Han to blow the candles from that distance. Lol.


The expression says it all. XP


Yeah, the more or less stunned expression is justified. The waiters' singing was very ... enthusiastic. Like, super loud enthusiastic. XD




And then we went to watch a movie. Kingdom. Preeeetty violent, but I guess it was quite a good movie.



......................................





I STILL don't believe it.

Friday 23 November 2007

curls..... for li may! ;)

Something like this, Li May. With, you know. Shorter hair. I think it'll look great on you. =)

Yay ! =)

.
.

.

.
Well.




Whaddya know.



.

.

.
Who would have believed it?






.

.

.

.
Only ONE MORE DAY OF SPM TO GO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee............







Because...................................


















No Chinese for me. NO Chinese.






-dances around and chants "No Chinese for me !! Only one more day......."-






*grin*



For the clueless people who STILL don't know.. *cough*guoyaw*cough*


I DON'T TAKE CHINESE.



Remember, Guo Yaw ? We were in the same class in form 3. NOW do you remember that I don't take chinese? XD




Conclusion : While all you poor, poor people are studying for your Chinese exam WHICH I DON'T TAKE.. I'll be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!!









Okay, okay, sorry.. Just wanted to rub it in. The fun won't start till after you guys have finished that Chinese paper anyway. See? I'm such a good friend. *sweet innocent smile* =P





By the way, I'm crossing my fingers, hoping for all those A's to drop out of the sky and hit my head... Cross your fingers for me, people !! =P






I haven't posted pictures for a while. Been too lazy. I mean, too busy studying. =P





Attempting to de-stress while studying Sejarah. (notice the text book in the background)







Oh, and this wonderful, WONDERFUL girl made some lovely, LOVELY Good Luck stars for me.......







Thank you Shi Yi !!!! =)

















oooooooooooh. Look what happenes when I invert the colours !! So pretty !! =)






Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU !!!



I LOVE YOU, SHIYI !!!! =)

Friday 16 November 2007

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!

Ahah !! 10 papers down............. Only12 more papers to go !


ONLY.


=.="



On the plus side...........


EST IS OVER !!!!!!!


MODERN MATHEMATICS IS OVER !!!!


SEJARAH IS OVER !!!!!!!!


ENGLISH IS OVER !!!!!!!


BM IS OVER !!!!!!!!!


And this is really really really freaky.. I actually felt SAD that I'm never going to touch a Sejarah text book again. Seriously. There is something wrong with me.

After the exam.. I was in the car, and I was like, checking the facts and all, and I thought to myself...........


Ok, I did better this time..

I'll study harder the next time...

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait.

There IS no next time.


And I felt SAD. Does that, or does that not prove that something is wrong with me?? I mean, people are going around screaming "Sejarah is OVEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR !!" and here I am, feeling SAD about SEJARAH, of all things, being OVER ???


Of course, it didn't last very long. But STILL !! That feeling evaporated when I was stacking my books away neatly so I can chuck them all at my brother next year. *grin*


Anyway, I've been on an unofficial blogging hiatus. Of course, the fact that Gary plays Dota on it about 99 % of the time and my mum plays Free Cell, Hearts or Minesweeper the rest of the 1% of the time has to be factored in. So that leaves me with ...................................................................

0.00 %
.
.
Today I had to hijack the computer while my brother was having lunch. =P
.
.
Whoop - de - doo for me. Well, I get MY VERY OWN LAPTOP OF (more or less) MY CHOICE after spm, so eat your heart out, Gary !! Ahahahaha...



On the downside.....


2 papers of Additional Mathematics next Tuesday.


3 papers of Physics next Wednesday.


3 papers of Chemistry next Thursday.


1 paper of Pendidikan Moral next Friday.


3 papers of Biology on the following Monday.


*sigh*

Saturday 10 November 2007

SPM

Our doom is at hand.............

All the best to all the Form Fivers out there......



A few more days. Just a few more.....


Take care, all..


XOXO,

Caitlin.


(who has, for the moment, given in to temptation to not study sejarah)

Thursday 1 November 2007

Graduation...

I don't have time to post up the pictures at the moment, but I will, after SPM, probably. I've got pictures with probably more than half the population of form 5 2007 graduates..

As of yesterday, I am an official CHS graduate. Reality hasn't sunk in yet.. That explains the lack of tears.

It seems like just yesterday that I was a tiny form 1 student, walking into school (late, by the way, because I didn't know I was supposed to be there at 12.30 p.m.). I remember walking into the hall, and looking at the prefects in their blazers looking erm.. cool.. and thinking to myself, "I want to be a prefect." I remember feeling very happy when I was called for the test (to become a probationer) and when I found out that 6 of my form 1 teachers thought I should be a prefect.

I remember feeling proud of myself for reaching form 2. I remember the times in 2A4, where I got closer to Shereen. I remember getting 3rd in Merentas Desa, losing to Tian Huey and Ze Hui. I remember the prefect meetings we had. The laughter. The seriousness. The tears. The scoldings. The discussions. The complaints. The camps. The marching. The fun. I remember getting to know some wonderful people.. Yee Hooi, Michelle, Ruth, Carmen, Cheng Chun, Jia Ming, Terence, Chen Han, Leping, Tee Jin, and Michael.

Form 3.. I remember wondering what life was like in the morning sessions. I remember being clueless about having to wear a collar badge. I remember feeling scared because I had to "jaga" form 5 students when I was only a form 3 prefect. I remember my first senior, Jia Mien. I remember the things they made us do to get their signatures. I remember getting the screaming bug from Yee Hooi when I sat beside her in 3A5. I remember going to the toilet with her at least twice a day, everyday. I remember panicking because I wasn't panicking about PMR. I remember the last minute studying and memorizing. I remember the relief when it was over.

And then.. I remember feeling scared that I wouldn't get into a pure science class. I remember how relieved I felt when I saw my name in the 4S6 class list. I remember feeling overwhelmed by the sheer number of papers we have to take for examinations. I remember sitting beside Ruth and having her wake me up when teacher was looking. I remember getting 1st in Merentas Desa, ahead of Tian Huey and Melanie. I remember losing spectacularly to Tian Huey in Sports Day. I remember feeling great after winning the Individual event of the Kejohanan Merentas Desa MSSD, and winning the Team event of the same competition, because Tian Huey got 3rd, Flora got 4th, Shereen got 9th, and Melanie, who had an ankle injury, still managed to finish 33rd, if I'm not mistaken. I remember being pissed off during AGM, along with some others. I remember getting the post of Ketua Barang Larangan. I remember being furious, at first, but as time went by, I remember having loads of fun because the authority that came with the post.



Now...



Where did all the time go? Being the top-of-the-CHS-food-chain is, if I may say so, no mean feat. Having to get through five grueling years to get here.... was it worth it?

The answer...... Most definately, yes.

Given the chance, I wouldn't want to change anything that happened in my high school life. Sure, it's been far from perfect, what with the ..... things that happened. But you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.

Because now I know how much my friends care for me, and I know that they'll always be there to back me up. I know that they're always there for me, and I can always go to them. I know how much they mean to me, and how much I care for them. I know that I'll always be there for them, like they're always there for me. I know that I'll forever cherish these times. I know that even if we are apart, we'll still be friends................. forever.

To all my friends, you guys have touched my life in so many different ways, and I want to sincerely thank all of you for the memories. Though we may lose touch, though we may never see each other again, though we were never really that close, though we may not speak to each other anymore..........



THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES.



Carmen, Yee Hooi, Michelle, Ruth, Cheng Chun, Michael, Tee Jin, Terence, Jia Ming, Leping, Chen Han - You guys are the best. You've stuck by me through everything and I'm grateful for that. I love you guys.



Form 5 Prefects - Andrew, Carmen, Basil, Jia Ming, Min Hui, Tee Jin, Chern-I, Mei Qi, Chooi Ling, Pei Yee, Michael, Cheng Chun, See Mun, Bin Yun, Min Shiew, Leping, Yan Liang, Yee Mun, Teck Eek, Jie Hui, Wen Zhen, Michelle, Pyin Nie, Norah, Purani, Ruth, Yee Shuian, Jing Lynn, Wei Ling, Yee Hooi, Terence, Zong Li, Vidthiya, Jyh Ling, Chai Yee, Mon Wei, Seng Hong, Shern Ling, Chen Han - I know I didn't graduate as one, but well, it's been great working with you guys to uphold the Board throughout the years. We've been through so much together and I cherish every minute of it. Thank you all for the times we shared.



Form 4 Prefects - Astin, Pei Wen, Hui Ning, Sin Yoong, Siew Foong, Shin Yee, Damian, Shi Ping, Li Ann, James, Kien Hoong, Ji Hao, Chin Ming, Xinyi, Wai Kit, Wei Ruen, Jee Khoon, Hua Ngik, Hua Yen, Kee Siang, Hui Yee, Aik Zuan, Chun Chee, Kah Hei, Yin Bin, Yoke Mun, Yi Rui, Xing Leng, Ying Yi, Min Chern, Sarah Ng, Sarah Tan, Ee Lynn, Xin Lin, Hui Wen, Ing Ching, Choon Lim, Hong Lian, Hur Beng, Wei Quan, Weng Yan, Yi Ting, Kah Yan - I can't say that I'm your senior anymore, but for what it's worth, all of you were great juniors, and I know you'll do a great job leading the Prefectorial Board. Thanks for the memories.


Form 3 Prefects - Adeline, Kah Lok, Su Teng, Lie Yang, Yun Hsin, Christine, Dennis, Edrea, Felicia, Lily, Xian Di, Ai Shuen, Zean Shiung, Julian Wong, KarLius, Jin Yee, Li Wei, Li Yang, Hui Yean, Su Saint, Shu Han, Livia, Meng Xin, Hui Yan, Juosie, Yee Aun, Michelle, Wei Jye, Rebecca, Kai Boon, Dik Sheng, Zong Yao, Yang Yenn, Yen Jin, Cheng Hoe, Tu Wei, Zoon Kiat, Khai Hoe, Chien Wei - Same thing, I can't say that I'm your senior anymore, but for the few months I've come to know you darling juniors, I really appreciate your enthusiasm and yeah, you guys rock !!


4S6 & 5S6 classmates - Michael, Min Hui, Ruth, Louise, Theng Fei, Louis, Max, Jia Ming, Purani, Bin Yun, Pei Xuan, Jennie, Qian Ning, Joyce, See Khee, Florrie, Ching Qiu, Khai Ling, Xing Yi, Woei Lin, Zoe, Sophia, Jaqueline, Irene, Kok Choon, Jessica, Xin Ying, Wei Xiang, Kah Pin, Victor, Fai Chun, William, Gabriel, Xin Hui, Elizabeth, Kah Yong, Yi Rong, Min Kai, Dek Ric, Hou Chuen, Chin Jun, Khee Xiong, Jia Jun, Sheng Yi, Yinn Jye, Jvn Yi - I'll miss the two years we had being in the same class, from Dek Ric's explosive sneezes to Jvn Yi's singing Spongebob Squarepants.. Lessons with LLL to laughing at Mr Ng. Class gathering.. I'll never forget the memories we've shared. Thank you all.



3A5 classmates - Huey Lih, Clarisa, Denisa, Hemavathi, Czi Xian, Li Ying, Shu Ying, Xin Yi, Kit Yee, Michelle, Li San, Saw Jin, Siew Thong, Zhao Ying May Fung, Yee Hooi, Wan Teng, Mon Wei, Bryan, Guo Yaw, Chun Yee, Yu Xuan, Ting King, Herng Guang, Kian Yueng, Shao Yong, Wei Yang, Wei Jin, U-Phun, Chia Lit, Kah Yong, Eng Lam, Cheng Fei, Jing Hooi, Kian Ti, Fai Chun, Wei Xiang, Khee Xiong, Hun Yen, Xiao Von.



2A4 classmates - Jing Lynn, Jett Kyii, Sophia, Jo Yee, Tee Jin, Bin Yun, Shern Leng, Kah Eng, Yvonne, Shereen, Wai Yee, Li Yi, Yee Thong, See Khee, Nicole, May Jin, Kee Cynn, Jessica, Yuan Lu, Chin Mei, Chai Yee, Yeon Li, Jiunn Heng, Kai Shern, Bryan, Kian Nam, Zheng Jie, Theng Fei, Keng Onn, Yoon Rui, Chen Hoong, Wei Xiang, Chee Meng, Victor, Chor Yeng, Chia Yang, Siew Fai, Zong Li, Andrew, Cheng Fei, Han Ming, Herng Guang, Ding Sheng.



1A3 classmates - Raihanis, Vania, Yu Ling, Hou Chuen, Muhammad Hamizi, Ashley, Florrie, Nurul, Wen Jia, Kian Ti, Vidthiya, Li Yi, Yoon Xian, Sue Ping, Jing Lynn, Siu Jeen, Shien Yin, Pei San, Kit Yee, Jie Hui, Amanda, Hui Yee, Denisa, Teck Eek, Yuen Hon, Ka Fai, Woon Fui, Chin Jun, Chee Meng, Chia Yang, Yoon Rui, Muzaffar, Zheng Jie, Herng Guang, Kah Kent, Thanesh, Theng Fei ...

To my ex-classmates, thank you all just for being you. Although I was never really close to some of you, and we've never spoken since going to different classes, you've all touched my life in one way or another and well, thanks. =)



Cheerleaders (when I joined in form 3) - Shereen, Casandra, Fiona, Penny, Saw Jee, Shi Ning, Amelia, Li Yen, Xue Ying, Michelle, Hui Jing, Wai Chian, Emilia, Shing Ying, Yen Hua - You girls rock. I'm glad I had a chance to be among your number.



Editorial Board members - Khai Ling, Xiu Tao, Ter Yi, Wei Jian, Chun Yee, Siu Jeen, Li May, Xue Ni, Seng Hong, Yan Liang, Bryan, Chor Yeng, Terence, Brenda, Jamie, Wei Ling, Nurul, Chooi Ling, Wen Zhen, Kwan Seng, Soon Yee, Denise, Su Ping, Pei Yee, Suat Wei, Jie Hui, Ying Yang, Michelle - The elites of the school. =) I'll always remember the deadline rushes and crazy times. Proud to say that I've worked with such a wonderful team to produce a brilliant school magazine.



To all my Form 5 friends and acquaintances..

Ashley MeiTing YanPing XiaoVon HuiYee SzeYing YeeMun YenHsian Amanda KeeCynn LiYing XinYee Michelle LiMay YoonXian YuLing ShernLeng Bryan GuoYaw Chern-I JungHao ChenFoong ChenHoong YanLiang YongHui TeckEek WeiJin U-Phun ChiaLit WooShen JoYee HunYen PeiYee KahMun XiaoChin Kelly JettKyii CheaYing CziXian SoonYee YuanLu PyinNie Nicole Sarah MayFung JyhLing PeiSan ChaiYee Andrew KahKent NgeSeong KahKiat Jeremy JitJiang Jovan KarJun ChuanKai ShaoYong YingJie KwanSeng KianNam VictorKean YinNang ChoonYen ChuenLoong HueyLih SuePing SeeMun Jamie XueNi LiChin LiYi ShinYi YeeThong KitYee Melissa NicoleLam SweaPhin WeiLing YiLin WanTeng MonWei ChengChun ChenLoon TingKing YoonRui ChiaYang AaronTan KianTi CheeMeng NicholasYap SengHong ChenHan MeiQi SiuJeen WaiYee Joanna Amanda Norah Shereen JingHua JingLynn MayGin SiauVoon YingHui Yeon-Li ChenJoyce Ding-En EeTyng CheeKin YuXuan Joel Joseph Leping HanMing KaFai KianYueng EuChern Muzaffar WenJia YuenHon Sundra YiChin MunTeng ShienYin Hemavathi KiaYi SeouYuen JieHui SuetLynn WenZhen XinYi YeeShuian ZhaoYing YiPing YeeHooi SuatWei Vidthiya Vinoshena TeeJin Jeffrey Kesvick LokMun KongSime TerYi ChorYeng JingHooi Wygene Terence YingYang YoongHsiang KhaiLing MinHui Elizabeth QianNing Florrie WoeiLin XinHui ChingQiu SeeKhee Zoe Irene Jaqueline BinYun KitJoyce Purani Ruth Louise Sophia PeiXuan Jennie XinYing XingYi JiaMing KokChoon ChinJun ShengYi Michael Gabriel ThengFei LouisNga HouChuen KahYong YinnJye Minkai Max KahPin DekRic YiRong JvnYi FaiChun Victor William WeiXiang KheeXiong JiaJun Brenda Carmen Casandra Denisa Denise Elaine XiuTao SuPing Vania SawJin HuiQi KahEng DingSheng WeiKhai Basil NicholasCheeChunYong JiunnHeng ChunYee MunHon Kihraan WeiYang GuanHuan KaiChun WeiJian WynYau Jordan ZhengJie AlexTam JunJie ZongLi TungTung Joanne MinShiew AnGie ChinMei LiSan Grace ChuWei Yvonne SiewFai SawJin KengOnn WoonKhai HerngGuang JianTing KaHong HarnJiat YeeWah SerMinh SuetChing RebeccaLam YannJu Adrian Derrick Dwayne SongJian ShiWei SoonJin GuanMing KayChong YewHoong WenKit YiPei ChooiLing ChiYin JoanFoo PeiMinn MeiShi NatalieYap SiewThong SzeMun YeeHui JoyceCheah Nurul Raihanis BeeKuan HueyLi HonYean Danish KarHeng ChengFei ChiYen Carine Fiona CheeYan KitYi PikKei DarrenCheng WeiYip GuanWei VincentNee LeeChing MichelleSoo PohVian MayYun Aravind KokMun ZhengAo SoonHeng RuiSheng ZhengCong WeiSheng WaiKeat TanKimHuei

Okay, the extent of knowing some of you only stretched to friendly smiles or brief conversations. But still, it means something. So thank you.

I'll really miss all of you.

Jasryn, Jasmin, I've updated. Happy? XP

Alright, my darling cousins, this update is for you.. =P

Jasryn.. Congratz on your essay getting into the finals of the MPH Search for Young Malaysian Writers !! Hey, go vote for my cousin, ok, people?? It's under the name Ng Su Wei (they spelt her name wrongly - tough luck, jas) and it's titled "Tales of the Average and Unimpressive".


http://www.mph.com.my/promotions/msearch_main.cfm <-- Go to this website, then click Vote Now, do some registering, and vote for Jasryn !! =) Jas, if you win, you SO owe me. I'm doing free publicity for you here. XD


I had a dream about that, a few days back. Sort of. Dreamt that a radio announcer was saying ".... and the article by Jasryn Ng is a must-see." There was more, but I can't recall what it was.. See, Jasryn? You're loved. *grin*




Anyway, SPM is in 11 days.


So, well, to all SPM students, good luck, we can do it. And the following poem is for all of you.. (especially Cassie, although I have absolutely NO IDEA what you were talking about in your blog, yeah, DON'T QUIT. This one is for you.)


Don't Quit

.
When things go wrong as they sometimes will;

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;

When the funds are low, and the debts are high;

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh;

When care is pressing you down a bit

Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Success is failure turned inside out;

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;

And you can never tell how close you are;

It may be near when it seems afar.

So, stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -

It's when things go wrong that you mustn't quit.



- Oh my GOD, I am so disgusted. Leaving me is the best thing you've ever done for me. Thank you, man, seriously. -